lucaya: girl meets huckleberry
by girlmw
Summary: lucaya. news can be a wearing thing. it can beat you down until there's nothing left. until you are completely empty.
1. only in the 9th grade

**this is my second story and i would really appreciate a review for this story. write anything, an idea, favourite character or thing you liked (or didn't), enjoy!**

maya's pov,

i really wanted to be okay. i didn't care about him, he lost my respect along time ago and he left when i was young so why did he have such a big effect of me.

 _bell ring signally the end of third period._

"farkle, how can you have finished the book report already, it was assigned in english." riley asks.

"so?" farkle replies.

"english was second." riley says, placing her lunch tray on the table and sitting down next to charlie. "you must be some sort of lab produced genius. have they found your birth certificate yet?"

"they're looking…" farkle says.

"i've done my book report." i interrupt from across the table.

"really?" riley says smiling, optimism spreading across her face. i always knew how to mess with riley. she's my best friend, she believed my every word.

"no." teases maya, a smile appearing on her face.

rileys smile turns to a pout. she hated being played.

"whats up with you huckleberry?" i say nudging lucas on the arm so he missed his mouth and ended up with sloppy joe all over his cheek.

"what?" says lucas wiping his cheek with a napkin. he'd obviously been day dreaming.

"are you okay, lucas?" farkle asks, looking a little worried.

"oh yeah i'm fine, just tired." lucas replies.

"why so tired lucas?" charlie says, chipping in.

"oh nothing, next door had a baby and it cries all night, thats all." lucas says.

"aw, is ranger rick having a problem with a ickle wickle baby?" i tease, in a baby voice.

"no." says lucas defensively. he hates it when i get to him, he hates it when i'm right.

"can ranger rick not sleep through a little crying?" i say, smiling.

"its not little, it sounds like a screaming cat being amplified through a speaker." lucas tries to explain.

"come on it can't be that bad, you live in new york city with the subway and dogs and midnight traffic. theres noise everywhere, 24 hours a day." i say.

"oh you don't believe me." lucas questions.

"i think your exaggerating." i admit, still smiling and i can see he's getting agitated.

"oh really?" lucas says, but he forms a smile.

"really." i repeat, my smile growing.

"okay," he says, "my house tonight, sleepover."

"what!" riley intterupts, "a BOY/GIRL sleepover. we are only in the 9th grade." riley says, sounding disgusted at the idea.

i must admit i was surprised to but i didn't want to show it.

"okay, sure." i reply to lucas.

"what?" lucas and riley both say at the say time. rileys still disgusted and lucas seemed oddly surprised i say yes, but then charlie turns to address riley.

"wait, you don't like them, oh." he says, acting a little disappointed, "so you don't wanna to come for a sleepover tonight?"

"um… maya?" riley says whilst nervously smiling at charlie.

"yesssss?"

"bay window." riley says.

"riles."

"yes peaches." still nervously smiling at charlie.

"we're in school."

"janitors closet then?"

"no"

"restroom?"

"no, just say it?"

"but he's right there." she says now turning to look at maya.

"say it."

"should i go to charlie's tonight? i don't want to rush it, i like him" this makes charlie smile, "should i go?"

"do it, grow up, have fun. and what do you thinks going to happen anyway. like you said, we're in the 9th grade. i'm doing it."

"but your maya."

"yes and your riley, do it."

"charlie," she says turning back to look at him, still smiling.

"yes riley."

"i'd love to."

"great, and we can take it slow."

"how did you know?" she says tilting her head and smiling.

"riley, we all heard the conversation, we're right here." lucas interrupts.

"oh." riley pauses, "farkle did you hear?" she asks, turning to him.

"yes i did riley and i must say i'm proud of you both." he said looking over at maya too, "does this mean you'll sleep over at my house now?"

"noooo." me and riley say together (me a little more harshly).

"say huckleberry, want to make this interesting?" i suggest.

"what do you mean maya?" lucas replies.

"i mean a bet sundance."

"what sort of bet."

"well ranger rick, if i can sleep through the 'screaming cat through an amplifier' baby cry, you do my history homework for the next 6 weeks."

"okay, and what if you can't sleep and I WIN." he says slowly, because he knows those two words get to me.

"ohhh, you won't win."

"i might."

"ohhh, you won't, but if it makes you happy…" i rub my chin, thinking, "um… i will stop the nicknames for 1 week."

"really?" he looks at me surprised, "two." he says, smiling.

"don't push me, huckleberry." i reply.

"maya, I'm scared." riley says.

we are walking out of 6th period, heading to our lockers, when riley brings up the boy/girl sleepover thing again.

"don't be, you and charlie are perfect for each other. he'll take you to a movie, you'll put your hands in the popcorn at the same time and that will probably be as far as you go."

"i'll have you know, maya, i kissed lucas."

"yeah, and look how that turned out."

"wait, do you not believe in me? you're mean't to be my best friend. ring power."

"i do and i am, just go, prove me wrong then riles."

"fine i will." riley says storming off towards her locker.

i have a plan and she'll realise soon, she know me to well.

"hey maya," lucas says, coming out of his maths class, "do you want to go to topanga's bakery before we go to my house."

"sure, i have nothing else to do, riley's busy and there's no point doing my homework work because you'll do it for me after tonight." i said getting close to his face.

"i wouldn't be to sure about that." he said getting even closer.

he was looking straight at me and i was looking into his dense brown eyes. i knew riley could tell something was going to happen but its ranger rick, nothing would.

"oh i would." i said to avoid the awkard tension. it made lucas laugh and although riley looked a little disappointed she still found my comment funny. i turn and grab some art templates out my locker when charlie appears.

"ready?" charlie says, "i really need a coffee."

"me too." lucas says, and they head off.

i turn to follow but riley grabs my arm.

"yes." i say.

"don't worry." riley says, as she links arms with me and drags me after the boys.


	2. that was something

riley's pov,

this is so something. they have something. okay i've only seen that moment the once but it looked really cute. he's tall and she's a short stack of pancakes. even now in the bakery he's looking at her whilst she sips her coffee. i've seen him look like that before. no as strongly but i've seen it. at me. he looked at me like that. which means it means something.


	3. she'd seen something

lucas' pov,

it's just me and her now, charlie and riley got off at andow street station for the cinema.

"i don't understand why we didn't get off to see the movie with them." maya says.

"if you want to win the bet its best to get the earliest night you can." i explain.

"you know huckleberry, i've always respected your attempt at lying."

"what do you mean?"

"babies don't just cry at night, sundance, they cry continuously all day."

"so…" i say, knowing she knows the truth.

"it's a school night, ranger rick, you have a curfew. let me guess…" she says, "9:30?"

"don't tell anyone, okay?" i sort of beg.

"of course not." she replies, with a suspicious glint in her eye.

"sundance, huckleberry and ranger rick all in one conversation? are you trying to fit them all in? are you scared you might lose?" i say.

"no, they just fit the sentences alright?" she says.

"okay, if thats what you say," i reply, whispering, "clutter bucket." as we jump off the train at bleecker st station.

the walk home was different than usual. maya was different. she swung round every lamp post, hid in every bush and pressed her nose up at store window. she seemed like she was enjoying the evening, she was having fun, she was smiling and i didn't see that smile often. but then the smile disappeared and i could see her mood was changing. she had seen something but all i saw was people walking the streets.

she turned to look at me and said, "race?"


	4. i saw him

maya's pov:

i saw him, but i couldn't tell lucas. i didn't want lucas to know that side of me. i didn't want to lose face in front of him.

"ranger rick, you had no chance up against track champion, maya hart." i say panting a little whilst lucas unlocks the door and i step over the threshold, "first of the three into your house and we made it back for your 9:30 curfew." i add.

he chuckles and takes my bag off me to place on the coat rack.

"hey mum." he says and a friendly looking woman pokes her head up from inside a cupboard in the kitchen.

"hey pudding!" she replies.

"pudding." i snort and lucas kicks me in the back of the calf.

"you must be the blonde beauty." the woman says getting off her knees and and offering her hand. i shake it as she says "i'm cathy, cathy friar."

"maya hart." i reply, letting go.

"oh, i know." she says, "you're all he talks about, the blonde beauty's a common topic in our house."

"not all the time," lucas says, a little embarrassed, "i talk about riley as well."

"what the pretty brunette?" cathy asks, "okay, her too, but not so much anymore, what happened there?"

"just friends mum." lucas says, giving his mom a little push towards the kitchen.

"aw, good." cathy adds, walking away, "dinner anyone?"

i then realised how strong cathy's texas accent was and it made me feel safe and at home. i also hadn't forgotten how lucas talks about me to his parents.

"I'm hungry," i say, walking towards the kitchen, "what have we got?"


	5. proving her wrong

riley's pov:

i didn't know if leaving them on there own was a good idea but i had plans. i was going to prove maya wrong.

as we stepped onto the platform, just me and charlie, i looked back to see them both looking in opposite directions, "they'll be okay" i whispered and turned my thought to my date with charlie.

"are you looking forward to this riley?" charlie asks as we cue to pay for a popcorn.

"yeah, as long as its a happy film because i only like happy films. isn't it the one where the boy sends the girl presents everyday for a year but then he moves away and she can't find them until she marries his brother and then he tries to stop the wedding and it doesn't work so he has to persuade her to leave his own brother by resending all the presents." i finish, to see a smile appearing on charlie face as i realise i just explained the whole storyline. i smile smile back and tilt my head, looking into his eyes.

we walk into the screening room and take our seats hand in hand. maya was so wrong. we were in 9th grade our freshman year, and okay my dad was still teaching us but we were 15 now and me and charlie have been an official thing for 4 months, 28 days and 16 hours. we would go further than hands in a popcorn box.

"riley?" charlie says and i realise i'd zoned out.

"yes." i say, turning to look at him.

he's sitting, looking at me with a little pink box in his hands.

"i know we've only been together for 4 month, 28 days and 16 hours," and this is when i realised this is why we were together, "but i thought i would give you our 5 month-aversary now." he says, smiling.

"y-yyy-yy-y-y-yy-yahhhhh!" i reply as he hands the present to me.

i pull off the ribbon off and he tied it round my wrist in a cute little bow. i pull of the lid to the box, to reveal the cutest charm bracelet ever. its full of charms including a crown, a castle and a unicorn.

"for a princess." charlie says.

i look up at him and into his dark green eyes. i reach forward and kiss him, he kisses me back. his lips were warm on mine and we stay, locked together, as the movie starts.


	6. she's so embarrassing

so heres the next chapter and i got a review about putting more in the chapters and i don't really want to change the pattern so i will post a couple of chapters at a time. please review with anymore ideas or comments.

lucas' pov:

my mom couldn't of been anymore embarrassing if she tried and now lily, my little sister, was adding to the topic.

"this chicken pot pie is really good mrs friar," maya says, "although my only comparison is the school cafeterias so theres no competition." she adds.

"why thank you maya," mom replies, with a smile, "talking of school, hows art?" she says taking another mouthful.

"its good thanks,but how did you know…" maya trails off confused, turning to look at me.

"he talks about you allllll the time." lily says, chiming in too.

maya smiles, but i give mum a stern look.

she clocks the look and, a little delayed, she shouts "lily!" and lily continues to eat silently, smiling to herself.

maya looks at me again, still smiling.

"not all the time." i try to explain, and i can feel myself turning red.

"kinda." mum adds quietly and maya giggles.


	7. finally, a movie

maya's pov:

comfort is what i feel at lucas'. i fit in without trying to be someone i'm not. after dinner i go and get changed into my pj's, and when i return to lucas' bedroom he's sitting on his bed with a large bowl of popcorn and the tv remote in his hand.

"because we missed the film." he said and i go to join him on the bed.

"aw, ranger rick, are you sorry?" i tease.

"no, but i know you want to put our hands in the popcorn at the same time and see what happens." he jokes back.

i don't turn to look at him but i can tell he knows my face lit up when he said that. he had completely take my mind off the man i saw earlier.


	8. i love charlie gardner

riley's pov:

she was right and maya did believe in me. it was a plan and it worked. maya knew we would go further, she was giving me the confidence to do it. kiss him.

"do you want to go to topanga's?" charlie asks.

"it's late, lets grab a hot chocolate to go." i reply and charlie grabs my hand as we head out the cinema to topanga's.

topanga's is just closing up when we arrive but katy grabs us two hot chocolates before we walk back to charlie's. it is getting close to 10:30 and the weather is cold. charlie puts his arm round my shoulder and pulls me close to keep me warm. he is always there for me, even for the little things and he is reliable. he would never hurt me and it makes me feel safe to have someone like that around.

we get to his house and i go to get changed. i feel nice in my pyjamas. it makes me feel a little more comfortable and at home.

"what side do you sleep?" charlie says as i entered the bedroom.

"the left." i say and the next thing know charlie has his arms round my waist and is throwing me onto the bed.

he jumps on after me so i grab a pillow and whack him round the head to defend myself, knocking him sideways.

i jump onto his stomach and say, "beaten by a girl." staring into his deep green eyes.

he lays looking back at me and he suddenly pushes me off and rolls me over so he's now on top of me. he bends down and kisses me passionately on the lips. i sit up, on the bed, still locked on charlie as he brushed his hands through my hair and i hold his hips as he pulls me closer. i love charlie gardner.


	9. a little confused

maya's pov:

"are you okay?" i ask lucas and he turns to look at me.

"yeah, im fine?" says lucas acting confused.

"i mean the whole riley/charlie thing. you okay?"

"oh yeah i mean i don't really think the feelings i had for riley were in a boy/girl relationship way. the second date was awkward and uncomfortable and it was like i was out with my sister. you know?"

"i do…"

"what? maya what do you mean?"

"thats what riley said."

"what?"

"she said you were more like a brother and thats why she picked charlie because of the awkward date and that it didn't feel like a boy/girl relationship."

"really, that makes it so much better" he says sounding relieved.

"how?" i ask.

"well i felt a little guilty about the whole thing but now i know she feels the same then i know its not all my fault."

"why did you feel guilty?"

"well… you know, erm, aw i love this scene" lucas says, looking back at the tv.

i am a little confused but leave the conversation there as he seems a little bit uncomfortable and i turn my attention back to the tv.

"bed or board game?" lucas asks as the final credits roll on the tv.

"bed." i say yawning and he chuckles at the coincidence.

"okay then," he says, walking to the door, "night!"

"wait, what?" i say, chasing after him into the hall, grabbing his wrist and turning him to look at me, "where are you going huckleberry"

"to the couch." he says, pointing to the living room.

"what, no, i'll sleep on the couch."

"no, your the guest."

"wait you have a huge bed, we can share it, look," and i grab hold of his hand pulling him back into the bedroom.


	10. she's holding my hand

lucas' pov:

she's holding my hand. okay, i know that that isn't a big thing but actually for maya it is. we aren't that close and moments like this moments like this are a little weird.

"its massive." she said and jumping onto the bed, getting into the covers and moving over so theres room for me.

she obviously doesn't see the awkwardness of this and so i climb in.


	11. night ranger rick

maya's pov:

it was awkward but im not mean enough to let him sleep on the couch, and anyway even though its awkward im not showing it.

we lay down both facing the window as i say, "night, ranger rick." and the baby next door starts to crying.

i close my eyes to pretend i'm falling asleep (so i win the bet) and i can feel him turn to look at me.


	12. night maya

lucas' pov:

she looked so relaxed lying there and she has already fallen asleep. i had become so close to saying i liked her whilst watching the movie but i just couldn't. i knew she didn't feel the same.

"night maya, you win." i say, kissing her softly on her nose, closing my eyes and trying to tune the screaming baby out my head.

the next thing i know, mayas lips are on mine and as she breaks away she says, "night lucas." and i smile, holding her tight as we fall asleep.


	13. the middle of flintons street

riley's pov:

the next morning i wake up to the sound of charlie's alarm clock, and open my eyes to see charlie, standing at the end of the bed, already dressed.

"good morning sleepy head." he says.

"morning." i reply stretching out.

"sleep okay?"

"yeah, your bed's really comfy."

"well im sorry but your going to have to get up and get ready if we want to make it to school on time."

"fine," i say, getting up and pecking him on the cheek with makes him smile, "i'll have a shower."

i grab my towel and head to the bathroom, undress and jump into the shower turning on the water. the cold water runs down my back and i finally feel awake.

after my shower i get dressed and head to the kitchen.

"breakfast riley?" mrs gardner asks.

"yes please." i reply, as i sit down next to charlie who's half way through a plate of scrambles egg and mrs gardner places a plate of the egg down in front of me, "thank you." i add.

"how was your shower?" charlie asks.

"i hope it wasn't too cold," mrs gardner says, "we're having trouble with the water system at the moment.

"it was fine, thank you." i reply, lying a little, "it wasn't cold at all." and we continue to eat breakfast talking about school and teachers.

"charlie was saying that your dad's you teacher riley." mrs gardner says.

"yeah my history teacher." i reply handing over my empty plate to mrs gardner for her to wash.

"charlie would hate it if i was his teacher." mrs gardner says, laughing a little.

"yes, i would." he says, and we all laugh as he grabs my hand and pulls me towards the front door handing me my school bag as we leave for school.

"sorry about her." charlie says, and puts his arm around me as we leave his building.

"no, i like her, she's really chatty." i reply.

"she's very chatty." he adds.

"i like her," i say, "she's like another you." and i turn to face him, grabbing both of his hands, "i like you."

he smiles and kisses me on the lips in the middle of flintons street.


	14. what

maya's pov:

i didn't sleep last night. i lay awake. all night. i kissed huckleberry. he kissed me back. i kissed riley's boyfriend. ex-boyfriend. i kissed riley EX-boyfriend, but i still feel guilty. i get up early and tiptoe out of bed and across the room. i pack my bag, leaving my homework on his bedroom desk with a note saying 'i win sundance' and i leave for my apartment.

"maya." lucas shouts across the corridor as i pull my books out my locker, trying to avoid him.

"maya." he repeats, and i slam my locker door and head to homeroom.

"maya," he says once more, grabbing my arm and pulling my into the janitors closet.

"what huckleberry?" i say turning to him, plastering a slightly angry look on my face.

"you left."

"when."

"this morning maya."

"so…"

"my mum was worried sick and me… well i was a little confused?" he says taking my hand.

"your riley's ex." i reply pulling my hand away and leaning against the wall.

"i know, i feel guilty too. but like you said last night, she never really liked me."

when he says this i realise his right but riley's face appears in my mind and i snap back to reality.

"it was nothing." and i can see this hurts him but he acts like a man.

"oh, i know." he says, "don't worry about it." as he exits the janitors closet leaving me standing there.

i hurt him and i could tell by the look on his face.


	15. farkle time

riley's pov:

"i'll meet you here after history, okay?" i say to charlie. we have plans to go to topanga's later with farkle, lucas and maya.

"okay." he says pecking me on the cheek and looking back as he walks into his english class.

"hey peaches." i say to maya, who's already sitting in her seat with books out.

"heyyyy." she replies, "how did it go last night?"

"how do you think?" she says, raising an eyebrow.

lucas walks into the classroom and takes his seat behind maya.

"hiya huckleberry." maya says, smiling and placing her elbow back on lucas' desk.

"maya won, huh?" i ask lucas.

"yeah, she slept the whole night." lucas says, but you can tell he's hiding something that maybe maya doesn't even know.

"right today class we are focussing on politics." dad says, turning away from the chalkboard, "during voting and once they are voted in, a number of u.s candidates lie to become president.

i raise my hand and dad picks on me.

"why would they lie?" i ask.

"well can anyone tell me why anyone would lie?"

"farkle time sir?" farkle asks, raising his hand.

"i love farkle time!" dad said sitting in farkle's desk as he gets up and he goes over to the 'mr matthews' sign on the front desk to 'farkle'.

"a number of u.s candidates lie to the public for 1 major reason, they want to grab the votes of the american citizens and so cannot show any weaknesses or cracks in future plans. an example of a candidate that lied for the sake of votes is bill clinton, who back in 1998 was charged with both perjury and abuse of power, which included lying. the perjury charge was not his first and after a number of court cases he was later charged for both of these in 1999. thank you i am farkle." he finished taking a bow.

"thank you farkle." dad said getting up.

we spent the rest of the lesson discussing the topic of politics with three more farkle times that only my dad really understood.


	16. you got that

maya's pov:

"are you coming tonight?" lucas asks me as we leave the history lesson.

"yes ranger rick, don't worry i'm coming." i said joking around and we both laugh.

"can you get me a berry smoothie please," riley says leaning on charlie's shoulder looking at his cheek, "but…"

"…extra thick so she can eat it with a spoon." farkle chimes in, smiling.

"course i can." he says, turning to look at her and pecking her on the lips.

"what do you fancy maya?" lucas asks.

"you don't have to ask, i can buy mine myself." i reply.

"she'll have her banana milkshake but without a straw please." riley interrupts pulling me to the nearest table and sitting me down.

"what?" i ask, sounding quite annoyed.

"he was only being nice." she replied, looking little confused.

"i know, i'm sorry," i say realising i was being a little too harsh, "i'm overreacting. its just that i've been having a few headaches recently," which wasn't even a lie," and with homework and everything else, i've been really tired." as i finished lucas, charlie and farkle come over with the drinks and a plate of cookies and sit down.

"so," i say, "are we looking forward to the annual bloodtest?"

"no." they all chorus back, all except for riley, who just sat frozen, staring into space.

"any talk of needles and she freezes up." charlie explains.

"she's always been afraid of them." farkle adds.

the conversation turns to todays history class, like we haven't had enough of politics already, and i continue to sip my banana milkshake.

"were my morning announcements okay this morning?" riley asks.

i remember the announcements and how riley was so nervous she fell of her chair. i found this memory so funny i snorted onto my milkshake and it splashed all over my face. i place the cup on the table to find them all staring at me and as lucas passes me a napkin riley turns back to charlie and farkle, an upset look on her face, asking if it was really that bad. i wipe my face off with the napkin and turn to apologise.

"i'm sorry riley, i just found it funny when you fell off your chair but the announcement was actually very good." i say, trying to get her to forgive me.

riley and the guys all start to giggle, and i'm a little confused.

"you have a little bit… erm." lucas says and leans forward, licks his thumb and wipes it across my cheek, "you had milkshake on your cheek."

"don't EVER do that again." i say and he can see the anger on my face, "you got that huckleberry?"

"yes maya." he replies.


	17. ring power

riley's pov:

i don't want to go to school. i pull my covers over my head and lay there hoping maya might forget to come and pick her up.

"yo." maya says as she climbs through my window and pulls my covers off my face.

she never comes through my window in the morning. she waits until 7:45 when i'm washed and dressed and eating breakfast and then comes through the front door.

"what are you doing." i say, sitting up.

"what?" maya replies, sounding confused.

"your dad asked me to come early this morning because of you know what today." she says.

"well no one will get me up today, not dad, not mum, not auggie, not even you." i say.

"ring power." she says and i reluctantly stand up and head to the bathroom grabbing my towel on the way out.

when me and maya got to school and entered the building you could see the school nurse setting up the needles on a tray in her office.

"maya take me home." i beg.

"come on riley stay strong. it's just a prick and then its over."

"i know, but its not just the needle; what if somethings wrong? what if the results come back and somethings wrong?" i say as we open our lockers.

"nothings ever wrong, riles." she says, pulling out some books and shoving her coat in.

"then why do they do it every year?" i ask.

"protocol." she replies.

"but they must have had a reason to start it in the first place." i say, shutting my locker and leaning against it, looking at her.

"i'm sure they did but you, riley matthews, will be fine." she says, slamming her locker door and dragging me into homeroom.


	18. nine days

maya's pov:

okay, it scares me a little but i couldn't say anything to her because it would frighten her to know her best friend, the one thats scared of nothing at all in the whole of the world, is scared of a blood test. well, the results.

we all go to wait outside the nurses office half way through maths and i stand there, waiting for my name to be called, my back against the wall. i'm not as frightened as i was when we arrived at school.

"maya hart?" calls the nurse. i enter the office and go to take a seat on the single chair in the middle of the room. "here first." the nurse says pointing to a measure up the wall and a set of scales on the floor.

"oh yeah." i say, realising i forgot they take height and weight before they take the blood.

"on you get." she said and i hop onto the scales. as she reads the scales an odd expression appears on her face.

"is something wrong." i ask, getting a little scared.

"no maya, it's just that you have lost quite a lot of weight since you were last weighed." she says, trying to smile to reassure me everything's fine, "it's probably just you keeping fit i suppose, over here." she says and i step over to the measure on the wall.

"how tall?" i ask as she reads the height, hoping i've grown at least and inch or so.

"4 feet 11 inches." she reads looking a little sorry.

"one inch." i say, "i grew one bloody inch in a whole year. seriously?"

"i'm sorry maya." the nurse says.

"it's not your fault." i say and slouch into the chair holding my arm out, "lets get this over with."

the nurse comes over, sits down and rips open the packet with the needle in.

"you ready?" she says, rolling up my sleeve.

"do it." i reply.

it didn't hurt. to be honest i didn't feel it and even riley agreed she overreacted when she returned from hers.

"i told you. i told you it doesn't hurt." i say to her as she closes her locker.

"i know peaches, but i think it will. it's sharp."

"well, well done and for being a good girl i'll buy you a smoothie at topanga's."

"extra thick s…"

"so you can eat it with a spoon? course." i interrupt.

"yayyyyyyyy!" she says and she links my arm as we turn and leave school out the big front doors.

it had been a whole 9 days before i got the call from the nurse. i am sitting in geography (my only class without riley) when charlie comes in and says the nurse wants to see me.

"hi, maya," she says as i knock on the door, "come take a seat. how are you?"

"i'm good." i reply sitting down and acting a little confused.

"now maya, i am going to ask you a number of questions and i need you to answer them as truthfully as possible, okay?"

"yes miss." i say, getting more and more scared.

"can you tell me if you have been feeling ill over the last couple of weeks?"

"whats this about?" i ask, ignoring the question completely.

"maya please."

"is it to do with the blood test?" i ask, ignoring her again.

"maya."

"TELL ME." i demand, and i can feel the sweat growing in my palms.

"look maya, your results…"

"i knew it. somethings always wrong with me." i interrupt having calmed down.

"maya its just precautionary. its nothing to worry about."

"how many times has this happened? how many times have you had to be precautionary?"

"once before." the nurse says looking at the floor.

"i've had headaches." i say.

"what?" the nurse says, looking up.

"you asked if i had been feeling ill over the last couple of weeks. i've been getting headaches." i reply.

"oh," she says, "how often?" she adds, picking up her pen and hovering it over the paper.

i didn't dare tell riley or anyone else. even the nurse said it might be nothing so when i met up with riley and the guys after school by the lockers, and riley asked me how geography had been, i simply smiled and said "as boring as usual." i winked at charlie the next time riley looked away to let him know he wasn't to say a word to her or anyone else.

"topanga's?" farkle asked us all.

"sure." i said.

"as long as i can have a smoothie. ext…"

"extra thick so you can eat it with a straw." everyone one else choruses over her, and she realises how many times she'd asked before.

we all laugh and make our way out the building.


	19. i saw her wink

lucas' pov:

maya's hiding something and i know its not my place but i can't ignore it. i saw her wink at charlie. like they knew something that they couldn't talk about. a thought rushes to my head. what if they are going out. what if they have a thing going on. maya hurt me with what she said in the janitors closet but i still cared about her. i cared about her before she kissed me. i always care about maya. this wasn't right though, she was hurting riley even though riley didn't have clue. charlie was cheating on her. with maya.

"charlie, do you want to get the drinks with me?" i say, as we walk into topanga's.

"yeah sure." he says.

farkle, what do you want?" i ask.

"i'll have a cappuccino please lucas, thank you." farkle says, sitting down with the girls and as we get to the counter, and order our drinks, i turn to charlie and ask,

"charlie," and he turns to me whilst handing over his money, "why did maya wink at you?"

"umm…" charlie says and he looks over to maya who is sitting with her back to him.

"charlie, are you going out with maya?" i ask and his attention turns back to me.

"NO." charlie shouts and everyone in the cafe turn to look at us, "i really don't want a cookie." he says to them, lying, and i'm trying not to laugh.

he turns back to me, "no, i'm not dating maya. i'd never cheat on riley."

"then why did she wink at you."

"um…"

"i'll tell riley." i threaten.

"she had a meeting with the school nurse." he blurted.

"what?" i ask, confused.

"the nurse caught me when i was leaving the bathroom. she asked me to find maya and send her to her office immediately."

"so why did she wink?"

"she didn't want me to tell riley i suppose."

"but why?"

"i don't know." he said, picking up the drinks. i pick up the rest and follow him to the table. something must be wrong.

the glasses are empty and riley looks at her watch.

"i better get going." she says, standing up.

"i'll walk you home." charlie adds and stands up to help riley with her coat.

"i'd better be going too." farkle adds, "thanks for the drink lucas." and all three leave topangas's after riley gives maya a hug and says, "i'll text you."

"so…" i say when their out of sight.

"so…" she repeats, looking around awkwardly.

"what did the nurse want today?" i ask, regretting the words as soon as they leave my lips.

"what?" maya says looking around, her eyes wide open, "what did you say?"

"how was the meeting with the nurse?" i say.

"how do you know?" she asks, getting angrier.

"i walked passed and saw you sitting there." i say lying.

"you lying." she says. she obviously see right through me, "how do you know?"

"charlie."

"what did he say."

"well actually it was me. i thought he might be cheating on riley with you after i saw you wink at him."

"you thought what."

"i thought…"

"i head. i was just shocked." and a surprising smile grew on her face. "your jealous." she says.

"what? no i'm not." i say, feeling myself go red.

"yes you are!" she says nearly laughing.

i hadn't really thought about it but maybe i was…

"it's okay huckleberry. it's okay." she says. i love seeing her smile and at that moment i forgot all about the nurses meeting and that something might be wrong. i just sat watching her smile at me.

as i walked maya back to her building the meeting came back into my mind.

"so this meeting…" i say.

"everything's fine ranger rick. it's precautionary."

"what is?"

"the extra tests."

"what tests?" and with this she looks at me me and then at the pavement.

"they took more blood to test again." she says, "but it's fine."

"no maya, it's not." i say, standing in front of her at the bottom of her building stairs

"it is." she says, searching for her keys, "leave me alone huckleberry. you don't understand."

"we help me to." i say and she walks around me and opens the door. she steps in side and turns around.

"no." she says and shuts the door in my face.


	20. i liked it

maya's pov:

i wake up thirty minutes early, every morning the follow week, as the nurse says the test results will be arriving by post. i don't tell mum. i don't want to worry her. and i know if i tell shawn he will march down to the school and demand to know why they hadn't called my mum in for a proper meeting. i had asked the nurse not to tell my parents. or parent. because there is no point worrying her if it is nothing and i am fine. medically as least. it arrives 11 days later, a white envelope with 'US Public Health Service' stamped on the corner. i knew it was it.

i walk into school and walk straight passed homeroom with mr matthews and riley and lucas and farkle and charlie. i walk straight into the bathroom, into the nearest cubicle, lock the door, sit down and wait. i am waiting for the nerve to pull the perfectly sealed envelope out my bag and open it. waiting for the nerve to unfold the letter and read each word one by one. i wait. i close my eyes, unzip my bag and reach in, and take hold of my letter. i place it on my lap like its too hot to touch and star down at it. 'nothing's wrong maya.' i say in my head, 'you feel fine.' i pick up the letter and rip it open. i unfold the single piece of paper and read it through, missing words and rushing, 'dear…' 'following current tes…' and then i stop. 'slowly' i think, 'read it through proper it's important."

'dear miss katy francesca hart,

we are writing to you following current testing you daughter has endured over the last two weeks and would like you to come and see one of our leukaemia oncologists for an appointment to discuss her results in further detail. below is the time and date of your given appointment:

date: monday 5th december 2014

time: 15:50

oncologist: mrs l. gatley

ward: chemmly ward, floor 7, east hospital wing, fleston clinic.

if you can not make this appointment please call 0564-838-4721 to reschedule.

yours sincerely,

dr h. fedson.

head leukaemia oncologist,

United States public health service.'

leukaemia. cancer.

i tell mum. i can tell she wants to scream at me for not telling her but she can't. i might have leukaemia and she didn't know. she thinks its her fault. i never knew how much they could tell from a simple blood test but…

"maya! wait up!" lucas says.

it's been 4 days since i read the letter and todays the day of the appointment. i don't want to speak to him i want to speak to riley first. but riley is to busy with charlie now days and we don't spend half as much time together. i don't even know where she is.

lucas runs up to join me as i walk to 2nd period.

"what ranger rick?" i reply.

"nothing, you just look lonely." he says looking a little taken back, "are you okay?"

"i'm fine its just…" and i go to tell him, "have you seen riley recently; i need to talk to her."

"um, no sorry. last time i saw her was this morning" he says and just as he finishes and we round the corner, we see riley and charlie standing there snogging.

"lovely." i say, as loud as possible. they break away and turn to look at us.

"what?" riley says.

"the snogging. its not right in the corridor, just stop it." i say and riley gives me a weird look.

"no its not. we are happy," she says and smile at charlie before turning back to me, "leave us alone."

"it's awkward in front of us. what are we meant to do? stand here and talk about the weather?"

"no, you can talk about anything peaches, and its not awkward."

"what," i say, regretting what i'm about to do, "this isn't awkward?" i turn to face lucas, grab hold of his neck, slam him against the lockers and kiss him. it was more than a kiss. it was a full blown snog in front of the whole corridor. what had i done. then i felt lucas kiss me back. he ran his hand through my hair with one hand and held my hip with the other. i liked it.

"okay, we get the point. no more snogging" riley says and breaks us apart. i don't think we'd of come up for air if she hadn't of stepped in. lucas friar isn't half bad you know.

riley's promise of no more snogging didn't last long. after school we all went to topanga's and as me and lucas got the drinks and returned to the table they were locked together again. i placed the drinks on the table, nudging riley 'accidentally' as i did then grabbed lucas by the face and gave him a quick snog before turning to riley, sitting down and saying "i'll do it everytime."

more for my benefit than hers.


	21. somethings wrong

lucas' pov:

i kissed her back and i don't think she would have broken away unless she had to. she enjoyed it and then she kisses me again at topanga's like it is nothing but i could swear she is trying to impress me as well as annoying riley. riley is more than annoyed though. her face is livid but i can see the smiley side of her not being able to be controlled and she is trying to hold down a smile. she wasn't mad, if anything she was happy.

i decide not to ask maya about it. she'd say it was nothing.

maya leaves topanga's without even finishing her drink and and rushes a "see ya." as she runs out the door.

she's been in an odd mood over the last for days. it's not much different from her normal behaviour but something's wrong.


	22. i'll tell him

maya's pov:

i arrive at the clinic, and as mum speaks to reception over the intercom, i nervously pace back and forth in front of the big front doors.

"come on." mum says, placing her arm round my shoulder, "it will be fine." she adds looking at me and we walk through the big front doors.

30 minutes later my name is called and we enter a plain looking office with an odd smell. we take a seat in front of a big desk with an old looking computer and a phone as well as a number of files and pens. it looks very unorganised which, to many, would be seen as a bad thing in a hospital, but to me it is relaxing. it shows that even as brainy doctors, who have been to medical schools for half their life, are still normal people and ordinary. i liked it.

the doctor come in through the door carrying a pile of even more files. she placed them on the desk, shook mums hand and sat down. then she turns to me.

"hello maya, im dr. gatley."

"hi." i say, trying to push out a smile.

"mrs hart," she says turning to my mother,

"it's miss." my mum interrupts,

"miss hart."i would like to talk with maya alone if thats okay with you."

"thats fine." i say, answering for my mum.

"um, okay." mum says, standing up and turning to leave, "i'll be outside." and she closes the door behind her.

"look maya," dr. gatley says, opening my file, reading a little and then leaning on her desk, looking at me, "i have had a lot of patients you age in here but non like you. you seem like you just want the news. straight at you. so you can fix it."

"yes, yes please." i reply and dr. gatley stands up to get my mother, "no, don't get my mother please. just me. just tell me."

"maya, i have to, your under age."

"don't please, just tell me." and i can feel my eyes tearing up. i don't cry, i never do.

"maya…"

"please…" and she sits down next to me where my mum had sat.

"maya, you have acute leukaemia."

"thank you."

my mother cries, and even though i am teary eyed it never touches my cheek. i just sit not fully understanding a word of what dr. gatley is explaining. what is acute leukaemia. 'chemotherapy' is the only word i pick up and i know what that is.

"stop." i say and both my mum and dr. gatley turn to look at me, "what?" i ask, smiling and dr. gatley smiles back.

"i know it's a lot to take in may…"

"no it's not that." i say, "its that you have had like six years of medical school and i'm in the 9th grade. english please?"

this makes them both laugh a little and dr. gatley starts to repeat everything she had said in a way i can understand.

i was no longer nervous. i had acute leukaemia but didn't feel ill. i told dr. gatley this and she asked a number of questions about my headaches and school. i liked her.

by the end of the meeting i had gone back to feeling nervous. it isn't all smiles in a doctors office. it is acute leukaemia.

i have tests and appointments and meetings and scans, all piling up over the next 9 weeks.

"is that okay maya?" dr. gatley asks.

"i won't miss school, will i?" i ask, zoning back in and completely ignoring the question.

"well some of these tests are within school hours, yes." dr. gatley says, "but maya, like i was saying, is that okay?"

"what sorry?"

"the meeting with your homeroom teacher and principal?"

"no its not."

"what, why?" my mum asks, wiping her eyes.

"i'm not telling mr matthews." i say, "i can't."

"maya he needs to know."

"he can't." i say and the thought of riley stings my eyes with tears. i know i have to tell her but her knowing her subway riding, detention getting, bad best friend has leukaemia would destroy her. i am always strong of the both of us and as the chemo and testing and scans beat me down she will see the broken side. the side i always hide away. the riley side of me.

"let me tell him." i say, "i'll tell him in detention tomorrow. it's always just me and him. i'll tell him i have…"

but i couldn't say it. i couldn't say the c word. not out loud. saying it out loud made it real.

"i'll tell him i have cancer."


	23. just not yet

cory's pov:

i don't know what to do with maya anymore, she gets detentions every week and never seems to learn her lesson. this friday she walks in the classroom at the end of school, takes her seat and turns to me. i'm sitting at my desk grading papers. we never normally talk. maya walks in sits down waits an hour and leaves. today was different.

"sir, i need to tell you something." she says and i look up. i can see whatever she wants to tell me is something important. she has i look in her eye that i've never seen before.

"what maya?" i ask, standing up, walking round the desk and sitting on the front.

"what i'm about to tell you cannot reach riley, okay?" i can see the tear in the back of her eyes.

"maya?"

"mr matthews?"

"okay maya, what is it?"

"it won't reach riley?"

"no."

"i have cancer. acute leukaemia."

"oh maya." i say, not really knowing what to say to the news.

"i have some tests coming up so will be missing some of my lessons." she says, standing up, "can i go?" and i can tell she did't want to talk about it."

"yes maya. you can leave."

she reaches the door before turning round and saying, "mr matthews?"

"i won't tell riley."

"just not yet." she adds and walks out the door.


	24. then him

maya's pov:

i don't want to see him. it isn't the time. i walk into topanga's to grab a coffee before heading home and as i turn around to head to the door, he is standing here, in front of me.

"maya."

i can't reply, there he is, after 9 years, standing in front of me.

"maya, listen."

"don't." i say and i go to walk around him.

"maya." and he grabs my arm.

"GET OFF ME!" i shout, stumbling backwards as i shake him off and at that moment lucas walks through the door.

"maya, are you okay?" he asks catching my shoulders to stop me falling backwards, "whats going on?"

"nothing." i say, shaking him off too and backing out of topanga's. my back hits the door frame and the jolt makes me spill my coffee all down my jumper. the tears sting the back of my eyes and i can feel the embarrassment building inside of me. i can feel my face turning red and both of them are staring at me. lucas with his big brown eyes and a look of sadness and confusion, then him with his good for nothing feelings and his 'i'm sorry' smile. i flea.

"maya, wait." and i can here lucas running after me.

i sprint, i don't want to talk to him either. he would ask questions and i shut up that part of my life 9 years ago. i don't think lucas even knows who it was. i don't think he knew i was looking at my dad for the first time in 9 years.


	25. watching the sidewalk

lucas' pov:

she ducks behind a garbage can and doesn't know i've seen her. somethings wrong with him. she's not herself and i can see it. i creep up to the can and walk around it slowly.

"maya?" i say and i can see her crying. i have never seen maya cry before and it doesn't suit her. she's the strong one. she's always been the strong one. i sit down next to her and hug my knees. we sit in silence for a while just watching the sidewalk and people walking by.

"it was my dad." she says suddenly.

"what?" i say, turning to look at her.

"it was my dad, nine years and he turns up now. why?"

"i don't know and to be honest i didn't even see any resemblance between you to." i say, hoping to make feel better.

"really, we don't look a like?" she asks, turning to me, but i can't read her facial expression and whether she's disappointed or happy.

"um…" i say, prolonging the answer.

"don't worry." she says, wiping her eyes and placing her head on my shoulder. we go back to watching the sidewalk and don't say another word.

we haven't moved from watching the sidewalk and we are still sitting with our backs to the garbage can.

"i have cancer." she says but she doesn't move a muscle.

"okay." i reply, but i'm shocked and inside i am breaking apart because i know i can't save her from this and i haven't kept her safe.

"do you still love me?" she asks, and i realise she just asked if i 'loved' her. she'd never said that before.

"yes maya." i reply and i kiss her head before turning back to lookout the sidewalk, "do you love me?"

"i don't know huckleberry? do you have leukaemia?" she says and i know she is smiling but the word and reality of 'leukaemia' hit me again.

"no." i say.

"aw, sorry, then i don't love you." and we both laugh.


	26. don't talk until i've finished

riley's pov:

hi peaches, are u alright cos we haven't met up in a while.

riley x

hey riles, im okay but i have something to tell you.

maya x

shoot.

riley x

can we meet at topanga's, its a face to face thing.

maya x

sure, in five?

riley x

great.

maya x

"i got your banana milkshake peaches." i say, as she sits down and then i see the look on her face.

"thanks…" she says.

"whats up." i interrupt.

"what?" she says and she looks confused.

"your face." i say.

"um…"

"tell me."

"listen, don't talk until i've finished, okay?"

"whats wrong?" i say and i'm getting nervous.

"riley?"

"whats…" and she gives me a stern look, "fine i won't say a word."


	27. take me home

maya's pov:

"i have acute leukaemia. cancer riley." i say and as soon as the word cancer comes out my mouth her face drops.

"what?" she asks and a tear roles down her face.

"lucas knows." i say. i have to tell her, if she wants to be mad its better now than when i'm really ill.

"it's fine." she says but i can tell she's hurt.

"look this won't change anything ril…"

"are you okay?" she says, completely ignoring what i said, but she is frightened and i can tell. i stand up and walk round, sitting down on her side of the table. she turns and hugs me,

"i'm fine." i reply, "how are you?" and we laugh.

we finish our smoothies and i explain everything from the scans to appointments.

"take me home?" i ask.

"sure." she replies and we stand up, link arms and head home.

"so when's the next appointment?" riley asks me as we cross 5th street.

"two days, tuesday." i reply.

"can i come?" she asks.

"yeah riles, but i will be having an blood test."

"okay, whats it for?"

"to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of my body."

"what! can it do that?" she said, stopping an turning to me.

"yeah riley. it can." i say and tug on her to keep her walking. we walk for the next couple minutes in silence and then i say, "riles?"

"yes maya."

"i have to have chemotherapy."

"okay? is that bad."

"no, but there is something thats not that great." and, for the fifth time this week, tears filled my eyes.

"what?" riley says, looking a little scared, stopping me in the middle of the sidewalk outside her building and turning to look at me.

"my doctor said i'll lose my hair." i say and when the words roll off the end of my tongue i realise how minor the situation is compared to acute leukaemia and i start to laugh.

"what?" riley says catching the giggles.

"i realised how ridiculous it sounded." i say.

"what do you mean?" she asks.

"well i have cancer and i'm complaining about losing my hair." i say and i wipe the tears from my eyes, still smiling, "riley?"

"yes peaches." she says and we start walking up the stairs to her house.

"this won't change, will it?"

"what?"

"well when i'm in a hospital bed connected up to tubes and wires…"

"maya, don't talk like that!"

"riley, when i'm in a hospital bed connected up to tubes and wires…" i could see her about to interrupt, "riley, we will still be 'us' won't we?"

she looks shocked and then she smiles, "IF you are in a hospital bed connected up to tubes and wires, beating cancers butt, we will be us. always." and after she unlocks the front door, we step inside to find mr matthews and auggie watching the phillie game on tv while mrs matthews is cooking dinner.

"hey girls, where have you been?"

"topanga's topanga." i say, and riley smiles.

"did you get me a cookie?" auggie asks me, keeping his eyes glued to the tv.

"yes auggie." i tease, "turn around and you can have it."

"argghhh," he says, "cookie or baseball, or cookie or baseball. a man watches sport. a boy eats the cookie. baseball." and he squares himself with the tv.

"are you a man now aug?" i ask.

"i've always been a man, babe, but i'm a married man, sorry." and he winks at me. we all laugh and topanga looks shocked,

"AUGGIE!" she says.

"what mum? i'm this many." he replies and hold up 5 fingers.

i go to look at topanga but riley drags me off to her bedroom and sits me down in the bay window.

"what?" i ask and i shrug her off smiling.

"can i tell my parents?" she asks and she's gone back to serious mode.

"your dad knows." i reply as i clock that she's talking about the cancer. "you can tell your mum though."

she stands up and i go to follow, its the shortest time we had ever spent in the bay window but i can tell it was necessary. as we get to the door i stop her though.

"riley? can i tell her? please." i ask and she looks at me.

"of course maya." and we link arms as we leave her bedroom.

"mrs matthews? can i talk to you and mr matthews alone?" i ask and her face goes from smiley to a little concerned as she turns to look at me. she knows it something important and ushers auggie out of the room.

"…but it's the ninth inning!" auggie shouts as he's pushed round the corner, out of site, and into his room.

"sit down." topanga says and we sit down on the sofa. mr matthews, for the first time since i've known him, turns off the phillie game and sits down next to riley.

"what is it maya?" topanga asks and she is looking nervous, "whatever it is we can fix i…"

"topanga, listen." mr matthews interrupts and i smile at him as he winks at me.

"mrs matthews, i have acute leukaemia. cancer and my mum may need some support from the both of you over the next couple of weeks." i say. topanga looks at me shocked to the skin and i just look at her, waiting for her to say something. anything at all.

"oh maya, i'm so sorry." she says and a tear rolls down her cheek.

"mrs matthews, i'm fine, really. i'm the strong one, remember?" i say and do the jazz hands to show the upbeat side of me.

"come here." she says and pulls me into a hug. i've always thought of topanga as another mum. she's always there to bandage my knee and take me shopping. her and mum work like some sort of team; when mums busy, she's there and when she's not, i've always got my mum.

"katy!" topanga says, pushing me away. she was reading my mind, "how is she?"


	28. maya has what

cory's pov:

we ran to topanga's and as soon as we arrive topanga is hugging katy and they are both in tears. how could i have missed that? we have been in topangas seconds and it looks like they have already had a full blown conversation. i decide its best not to interfere with them and go and get three coffee's. by the time i get back they have all calmed down and the crying's stopped.

"i can't help her." katy says. "there's nothing i can do."

"let her know your there." topanga says.

"i just can't believe it." katy replies and i can see shawn coming in the door way towards us so i wave at topanga to try and tell her to shut up. it's too late. "my little girl has cancer." she says and shawn stops dead in his tracks.

"what?" he says, starring straight ahead and i can tell he's hurt, like he's been winded with a baseball bat. katy turns and looks at him.

"maya has what?" he asks again, still not moving.

"shawn?" katy says, but he's turned around and fled out topanga's already, "SHAWN!" katy screams and rushes after him.


	29. you are

shawn's pov:

i run. i run as fast as i can. i run straight there. i slam the door open and she's sitting there playing a board game. her and riley look up from the shock of the door slamming and she looks at me. she can tell i know, but we just look at each other, not moving. she's fine. she looks fine. nothings wrong with her. she's fine. maya's fine.

"hey." she says, "wanna play?" and she smiles. its not real though. i can tell.

"maya…" i say.

"i don't want to talk about it." she replies, cutting me off.

"MAYA." i repeat.

"DON'T" she shouts, and runs off crying to riley room.

"i'll go." riley says, getting up.

"please," i say, "let me." i can her katy running up the stairs behind me but i go to riley's room anyway.

she is sitting with her knees to her chest in the bay window of riley's bedroom, she's looking out of the window at the city. she is crying; i've never seen her cry like this before. not sad tears. i stand watching her and i don't think she can see me until,

"i didn't want you to know." she said, "you were the only one i wanted to protect."

"what, maya?" i say sitting down in the window.

"it's not fair." she says and she continues to cry. i lean forward and grab hold of her. i am never letting go, not for anything. we just sit there, we sit there in silence.

"shawn?"

"yes maya."

"this didn't happen to you did it?"

"what?"

"we are so alike, i'm you in girl form. runaway parents, messy lives, you know." she says, wiping her eyes, breaking free from my grasp and sitting up, putting her knees down.

"yeah i do."

"well did you get… cancer?" she asks and she starts crying.

"… no." i say and this time she hugs me.

"shawn?"

"yes maya?"

"did you ever see your mum after she left?" she asks.

"no."

"okay." she replies.

"did he look like you?"

"what?" she asks pulling away.

"your dad, did he look like you?"

"he's not my dad…" she replies and turns around to look out the window, "you are."


	30. one second maya

maya's pov:

I want to know who told him. He's not mean't to find out about it. It's not meant to work like this.

I walk into homeroom on the day of my first appointment and take my usual seat in front of lucas.

"maya…" lucas says and i know he wants to talk about it.

"don't." i interrupt.

"but…" he adds.

"I SAID DON'T!" i shout and the whole class turn and look at me. the whole class start to whisper and chat about what i am so angry about.

"settle down, settle down." mr matthews says and winks at me to reassure me he'll sort it out.

"thank you." i mouth back and smile weakly.

"right, today we will be focusing on…" but I tune out before I can here the rest. i think about the appointment. what if the cancers spread? then i start to feel sick and i can feel my breakfast coming up into my throat.

"mr matthews?" i interrupt as i raise my hand.

"one second maya." he replies and continues talking to the class.

"mr matthews?" i repeat.

"maya, wait." he says but i feel it getting worse. i grab hold of my mouth and run for the restroom.

"maya!" mr matthews shouts and i hear riley running after me. i push the door of the restroom open and sprint into a cubicle. i bend down and vomit into the toilet. i wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, turn around and sit leaning up against the cubicle wall. i look up at riley as she pushes open the restroom door and walks in. she could tell it was getting worse. the cancer was getting worse.

we walk to the nurses office in silence and when we got there riley sits me down on the end of the bed and takes the nurse aside. i am too tired try and listen to their lower voices, so tired my eyes begin to close and i lie back.

"look." i here riley say and i open my eyes so slightly they don't notice but i can see them both looking at me.

"i'll report this to dr. gatley before the appointment tonight but for now she can stay here and i'll call her mother."

i roll over so my backs to them. mum will be working. she can't pick me up.


	31. listen

lucas' pov:

i'm worried. maya's going down hill and i walk down the corridor after being called to nurses office, shaking. i walk into the office to see riley and the nurse sitting at the desk next to blue curtain. i go to speak, but riley put her finger to her lips and i stay quiet. instead i peek round the curtain to see maya covered in a blanket with a drip in her arm; she is asleep and looks so ill. i know i have to pull myself together, things are going to get worse before they get better so i better get used to seeing her like this. it's because i can't help her. it's because i can't keep her safe and away from harm.

"can i sit with her?" i ask, looking back round the curtain at the nurse and riley.

"yes lucas but i need to speak to you before you do." the nurse says.

"okay." i say worryingly and i go to pull up a chair.

"sit here." riley says getting up, "i'm going back to class to let dad know, i'll be back later."

"are you sure?" i ask.

"yeah, but lucas," riley says, "make sure she's warm. she aways…"

"gets cold when she sleeps." i finish, "i know." and with that riley walks out the office and down the corridor.

i sit down opposite the nurse and she looks at me.

"lucas, riley spoke to me about mrs hart."

"why whats she done?" i ask getting a little angry.

"nothing lucas." she replies, "nothing at all. listen."

"riley told me that there family situation and income to the home was not stable enough for her mom to take time off work. she doesn't think it is right to call her mom to ask to pick her up. we tried to call riley mom but there was no answer and riley said she was probably in court so the last option was you."

"me?"

"yes lucas, you. i called mrs hart."

"what! riley told you not to." i say getting angrier, "and what does that have to do with me?"

"listen. i explained what riley had said and although she agreed she persisted on coming up here to collect maya."

"what!" i shout and then realise it was probably too loud.

"shhhh lucas, listen. i explained that she is on a drip to keep her water levels up and that she is currently asleep so mrs hart agreed to let her stay until she can collect her. mrs hart also said that maya was fond of you and if possible, mrs hart wants you to stay with her incase she wakes up." she finishes.

i just sit there. i don't say anything.

"lucas?" the nurse asks.

"i'll sit with her."


	32. i felt so bad

cory's pov:

i felt so bad. i was irresponsible. she was ill and i didn't realise how much it was effecting her. she always complained about headaches and asked to see the nurse but i thought it was a way to get out of class.

riley walks back into the room but stands at the door. i look at her and her worried face so turn to the class,

"read page 144-147 of your textbooks please." and as they all open there books i turn back to riley.

"she was sick and the nurse said she doesn't know why. apparently it's not a symptom of the type of cancer maya's got so the nurse is going to call dr gatley and speak to her before maya's appointment tonight. she's really sick dad and i can't help."

"we all feel like that riley, but she will get better."

"but she might not." riley says and she starts to cry, "no. i have to stay strong. no crying." she adds, wiping her eyes. "i'm going back to the nurses office to sit with her and lucas. okay?"

"yeah, go." i say and give a reassuring smile. she smiles weakly back and heads back down the corridor.


	33. no one's mean't to know

**hey guys,i'm sorry the** **chapters haven't been great. i've been busy and stuff but i'm going to spend time getting some really decent chapters written. if you have any ideas or plot twists you want to read then let me know and review please! xx**

riley's pov:

i hold myself together in front of dad and walk down the corridor but as soon as i know he can't see me anymore, tears flood out of me and i make a run for the nearest restroom. i run down the corridor with my head down, starring at the now blurry floor. then i hit something. someone. charlie.

"woooooaahhhh." he says catching me so i don't fall over, then he looks at my face, "riley are you okay?"

"i'm fine." i say sniffing but i collapse onto his shoulder crying. he walks me to the nearest staircase and we sit down; my head on his shoulder.

"maya?" he asks.

"what?" i say sitting up and looking at him, "how do you know?"

"farkle." he replies.

"farkle? wait, how does farkle know." i question and stand up.

"i don't know riley, calm down. your worked up." he says.

"no i need to talk to him. did he find out from someone at school because no one's mean't to know." i say and go to walk away. charlie grabs my wrist.

"i'll speak to farkle." he says and i turn and look at him, "you go to maya." he kisses me on the cheek and walks away before i can answer. he understands.


	34. can you help me with something?

lucas' pov:

i sit down in the chair next to the bed. she's curled up and tucked in, sleeping and she look's so peaceful. she doesn't look ill. i put my chair closer and just watch her sleeping. i can hear the tapping of the nurses keyboard from behind the curtain and then she sticks her head round.

"i"m just going to the office because my email isn't working. if anything happens press the red button just there," and she points, "it triggers my pager and i'll rush back. take care of her, okay?" she whispers.

i nod and she leaves, closing the door quietly behind her.

i sit back in the chair and look around the room. its full of cabinets and draws, probably full of medical equipment and pupil files. everything's silent and so relaxing my eyes go heavy.

"don't fall asleep huckleberry, she told you to take care of me." maya says croakily and i jump.

"your awake?" i ask opening my eyes suddenly.

"no sundance i'm talking in my sleep." she replies, sarcastically and she smiles. she shivers and i jump up to grab her another blanket. "don't worry about it, there's non left." she adds and i turn to look at her.

i take of my heavy hoodie and place it over her top half.

"not that it will make much difference." i point out.

"thank you." she says and attempts to pull the covers up to her chin with the little strength she has got left.

"here." i say and do it for her. we are nose to nose as i pull them up over her shoulders so they are touching her chin.

"you liked it." she says and this confuses me but we stay nose to nose.

"what?" i ask releasing she has changed subject completely.

"the kisses to annoy riley. you kissed me back. you liked it."

"how do you mea…" but her lips are on mine before i can finish. this kiss is different. its patient and honest. she is letting her guard down just enough to let me know she likes me but not enough to get hurt if i say i don't like her back. it's clever but then again maya's always been clever.

she holds on for so long i have to sit down on the bed to keep my balance. she grabs my shirt and pulls me closer. so i reach up to her face and hold her cheek softly. she flattens her grab so her palm is pressed against my chest and i brush her cheek with my thumb. she breaks off,

"ranger rick…" she says, "can you help me with something?"


	35. the nurses office

riley's pov:

they didn't know i'd seen them. i walk into the nurses office and made sure i shut the door as quietly as possible so not to wake maya. to quietly perhaps. as soon as i poked my head round the curtain i knew. this wasn't the first time. nor the last. and it was passionate. maya liked somebody enough to kiss them. and lucas. lucas, out of all the somebody's she knew.


	36. im not scared of you

maya's pov:

i need him. well i don't need him, but he already knows so he can help. even though i ask him he doesn't reply for a while. he lays down behind me holding on to me, his hand across my torso. it felt nice, supportive, like i didn't have cancer.

"what for?" lucas says suddenly.

"will you he…" i go to say, but the door shuts from behind the curtain and lucas jumps up thinking someone's come in.

"hello?" i shout, but silence. "hello?" i repeat standing up with a little struggle and stagger towards the door, pulling my intravenous iv lines and fluids behind me.

"maya!" lucas says running over to me and grabbing my arm to support me, "get back to bed."

"lucas don't, let me walk while i still can." i reply and shake him off.

"okay," he says, and he stands still while i walk round the curtain to the door, "but don't talk like that."

i go to reply as i open the door and look down the corridor. i don't reply though. because i she her. well, her side. sitting with her back against the side of the locker. i look at the clock not the wall. it's 3 minutes till the end of 3rd period and i know that the corridors will be filling with pupils soon. i don't want other people to see me like this. i have needles in my arms and a blanket round my shoulders. i don't want that. i'm pale and weak.

then i clock it. she saw. she saw me and lucas kiss. i don't care who sees me, she saw so i go to rush over. my attempt isn't successful. i fall over in the middle of the corridor and riley turns round and looks round the locker at me.

"maya!" she shouts, pushing herself up off the floor and running over to me.

"you saw." i say, trying to stand myself up with the help of a garbage can.

"what?" she asks, "and sit down." she adds trying to get me to sit on the floor. i give in and slump to the floor, making sure i pull her down with me.

"you saw me and lucas. didn't you." i ask. she stays quiet and then a smile starts to creep onto her face.

"yeahhhhh." she confesses but her happy response throw me completely.

"what?" i say and the bell signalling the end of third rings through the corridor, "aren't you mad?"

"why would i be?" she says and she looks around her as the classroom doors start to open.

i get nervous as people start fill the corridor, swarming around us like bees and starring down at us like a display at an art museum. i look at my the tubes connected to the needles in my arm and the liquid being pumped into my veins by a big machine. i don't like this.

riley clocks my anxiousness, "maya lets go back i…"

"no." i say bluntly, looking at the floor, "i need to explain this to you."

some guy looks down at me from his locker, "maya come on!" riley repeats, standing up and tugging on my arm.

"no." i repeat but i do pull myself up, with riley assistance.

"look, i'm with charlie now and you like him. i don't mind."

"but…"

"no, no buts. you like him and he's like a brother to me. brothers always have the coolest girlfriends anyway." she says and we both smile. i lean forward and give her a hug. getting her permission was so relieving and i was so pleased she didn't mind.

"maya!" lucas says, interrupting our hug, "come on!" he adds and motions me o come back to the office. i know this is because there's people around but i don't care.

"help me." i say as i turn to riley.

"what?" she says as i make my way towards a bench and attempt to stand on it.

"help me." i repeat and she gives me a push up onto the bench. it takes me a while to stable myself and i have to keep one arm lowered so the tubes and wires don't pull.

"YO, YOU LOT!" i shout and the whole corridor turn to look at me.

"maya, what are you doing?" riley says tugging at my shirt sleeve.

i look down at her and smile but look back at the crowd of interested people without replying.

"I KNOW A LOT OF YOU ARE CONFUSED ABOUT ME AT THE MOMENT." i say, "AND I KNOW THAT A LOT OF YOU DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON. I AM ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT HAS ONLY JUST BECOME REALITY TO ME AND ALTHOUGH MANY PEOPLE ARE SCARED OF TELLING PEOPLE AND HIDE AWAY, I AM NOT GOING TO LET IT CONTROL MY LIFE. I AM GOING TO TELL YOU. AND I'M NOT SCARED." i take a deep breath, "I HAVE CANCER… YOU HERE THAT I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU."

i look down at both riley and lucas, both of which are smiling back at me. my best friend, and the boy who i… love.


	37. impossible

lucas' pov:

she told everyone. i stand there smiling. she told everyone.

i help her down off the bench when she's finished and riley gets first hug. they finish their hug and maya turns to look at me, smiling.

"maya?" the nurse says as i go into hug her. maya whips around and we both look at her. "maya can you come with me please." she says and me, maya and riley go to follow, "erm… just maya ple…"

"no. i want them to come." maya says and turns to look at me and riley. she looks back at the nurse and she smiles at maya.

"okay. in here." she agrees and motions us into her office.

maya climbs onto the bed (with my help) and and me and riley take the two sets next to her. The nurse repositions maya's pillow as maya lays back and then starts to fiddle with the machines and maya's fluid bag.

"maya, me and dr. gatley are a little worried." the nurse says still fiddling with the fluid bag.

"okay but i have cancer why wouldn't you be?" she replies, and turns still smiling, yet looking a little confused at my and riley, before turning back to the nurse.

"no maya, it's not like that, i have been on the phone with her and we both agree you shouldn't deteriorate this quickly." she says and we can all see how serious this is now.

"so?" maya asks.

"so, dr gatley has a bed waiting at the hospital for you in the children ward over at the clinic she would like you to spend the night there whilst you have some tests done. i have contacted your mother and she said she i leaving work now and will meet you at the clinic. i have called a travel ambulance to collect you and take you over there."

"what does this mean." i ask, interrupting the nurse.

"don't lucas." maya says and i look at her to see she has gone very pale.

"no wha…"

"i said don't." maya repeats, and i see a tear roll down her face, "i'm not scared of you." she says looking down at the needles in her arm and a tear falls onto her wrist, "i'm not scared of you cancer, come and get me."

riley grabs hold of her hand and repositions herself on the edge of the bed with her arms around maya. the nurse, without a word, takes maya's forearm and pulls a tube out of one of the needle attachments. she clips in a new one and presses a button on a machine. the only thing that can be heard is the continuous beeping of the machines and maya's sobs into riley's shoulder.

"lucas." the nurse whispers, and waves me over. i silently walk over and around the curtain sitting down behind the nurses desk. "be there for her lucas. i know its hard and even though she has riley, she needs you too. be there for her."

"i can't help." i say, "what can i do?"

"be there." she repeats, "just be there for her."

the nurse leaves the office and a couple of minutes later returns to let maya know the ambulance has arrived. it's not a normal ambulance. it's one for medical transport. for people who have so much medical equipment that it doesn't fit in a car. for people like maya apparently.

only one of us are allowed in with her and maya tells me that topangas going to be up the clinic so its best if riley goes. i kiss her on the head and wave as she is loaded onto the ambulance and they drive away.

as soon as they are out of site i walk to the nearest bench and slump down into it. i sit in silence for a while thinking all the time about maya.

"can i?" a voice says and i look up to see farkle standing next to me

"sure." i say with no expression in my voice and farkle sits down, keeping his distance. i star at the floor, maya still on my mind.

"how is she?" he asks, looking at me but i continue stare at the floor, leaning forward, elbows on knees and he takes this as my answer.

"she's no going to get better is she." i say, looking up into the distance.

"nothings impossible." he says, "the word just simple says 'i'm possible'." this makes me smile and i turn to look at him.

"always got the right thing to say, ah farkle." i say and he smiles back at me.

"it's true though." he adds.

i turn back to look out into the distance, "she's going to get better." i whisper under my breath. "she's going to get better." i jump up off of the bench, "thanks farkle!" i shout and i start to run down the side walk, dodging the crowds of oncoming people, to the closest subway stop.


	38. drive faster

riley's pov:

it's about a forty five minute drive to the clinic and maya had already fallen asleep within the first five minutes. the nurse had decided to come with us in the end and we sat side by side facing the bed maya was curl up in.

"she looks so normal. so peaceful." i say, tilting me head as i watch her sleep.

"life can be cruel sometimes." the nurse says and she takes hold of my hand. i look up at her to see her smiling down at me.

"no not to maya it can't, she's had bad enough in her life. it's not fair." i say, trying to explain without giving away any of maya's living situation. "everything from the cancer to the…" i look over to maya, "to the pathetic nose bleeds." and i look down to the floor.

"what?" the nurse asks and her tone tightens.

"i just mean its not fair." i continue not noticing the nurses panicked look.

"no no, the nose bleeds." she says.

"i know there small but it still…" i say still oblivious.

"no, when did she get them?" she asks.

"when _'does'_ she get them." i say, weakly pointing over to maya's face and the blood rolling to her mouth from her right nostril.

the nurse unbuckles her seat belt, jumps up and cups her hand under maya's nose. maya wakes with a start.

"maya stay still and keep your mouth shut, theirs nothing to worry about. todd, can you come her please." she says to the 2 men in the front, her voice is noticeably wobbling, "riley can you hand me a tissue please."

i turn and reach for a box of tissues on the shelf behind me, "i wouldn't panic" i say, "they've been worst."

"she's had these before?" the nurse asks as i hand her the box of tissues and she looks back at maya's eyes. maya lays there as she's told, not moving, completely silent, fear in her eyes as she looks back at the nurse.

"yeah, they started about a…" and then i stop, "about a month ago." i sit starring into nothing. the reason she was so panicky was because it was serious, because it was a problem. i sit starring into nothing feeling like i'm about vomit.

"yes marge?" a head says popping round the side of the ambulance wall from the passengers seat.

"drive faster." the nurse replies looking over her shoulder at me and my now white face her hands and the tissue still pressed against maya's face.


	39. nice eyes

lucas' pov:

my eyes scan the subway times, franticly looking for one going north to the hospital. four minutes. i would have to wait a whole four minutes. the fifty dollars. charlie had given me the fifty dollars for the baseball ticket. i had fifty dollars. i whip around and skid to a halt to stop myself knocking over a little kid tottering around the station with his mum.

"sorry" i shout as i edge round him, careful not to hit the blind man behind me. i squeezed my way through the rest of the crowd and run the stairs leading out into the - far from fresh - city air. "TAXI!" i holler waving my hand in the air as i step off the side walk. a small yellow car pulls up to the side off the road and i yank open the door to a black leather seat covered in gum.

i don't care. i'm in a rush so i duck under the top of the car and sit in, "fleston clinic. i'll pay extra if you speed." i say taking the fifty quid out my pocket and fanning it open before looking up at the rear view mirror. all i can see is a smile.

"in a rush?" i hear a woman's voice say as she pulls back into the traffic.

"kinda i say." i say, realising i didn't need to rush. the nurse said she would be there all night.

"i'll go as fast as i can kid." she says taking a sharp turn round a corner onto a different street. i could have sworn she had gone through a red light and although it was wrong he appreciated it. she obviously understood.

"how long have you known her?" the driver asks a couple of minutes later.

"what?" lucas asks, turning to her from staring out the window.

"the girl you rushing for. how long have you known her for?" she repeats.

"oh you mean maya…" he says, not realising the words had even left his tongue.

"maya huh? is she a nice girl?" the driver asks.

"you could say that." luck says turning back to look in the rear view mirror. she had kind eyes, happy eyes. but they were nothing like maya's blue ones. hers where happy but maya's hid a lot. secrets. you could tell me from maya from her eyes, "she's got nice eyes. secretive eyes. i like them."


	40. stay completely still

maya's pov:

i'm scared. the nurse told me not to move and i can see the panic - the panic she is trying to hide - in her eyes. she's knows whats going on, she knows whats wrong but she's frightened. i jumped awake after a hand was pressed against my upper lip and now i'm starring, wide eyed, at the ambulance ceiling.

i feel the ambulance jolt over a speed bump as we start to pick up speed and all i can hear is my heart beat echoing in my chest. i feel sick. i don't know whats wrong and i can't speak.

but then the pain comes. i feel it right in the bridge of my nose, between my eyes. it cracks and the pain is to sever to stay still. i raise my hand to my nose and scrunch my eyes up, breathing heavily.

"TODD, FASTER!" the nurse shouts after looking down at my as i take hold of my nose. she had been looking out the window to try and place where we were on her internal brain map.

"what entrance?" a mans voice says from what i guess is one of the front seats.

"the emergency room. quick." the nurse replies looking back down at me. she gives me a weak smile before looking back at the front seats when todd says,

"we can't, we aren't authorised. we're a travel ambulance, we're different."

"does it look like i care." the nurse says bluntly, trying to signify the current situation with her eyes. i'm in severe pain and i can start to feel the blood in my mouth as the nurse releases her grip slightly. then she turns back to me as the ambulance turns sharply and slows to a halt.

"okay, maya don't move. you can continue to hold your nose but stay completely still. the more you move the more it will hurt." the nurse says as the ambulance doors open and i'm wheeled out into the hospital.

"riley?" i shout.

"she's here." a voice says.

"lucas?"


	41. big red doors

lucas' pov:

"i'm right here." i reply. i had sprinted from the cab and told the driver to keep the change. now i am looking at maya covered in blood, she's trying to hide the pain.

"lucas help." she says, turning to look at me. i see those secretive eyes but they've let their guard down. maya's i real pain and it shows. i grab her hand from her nose,

"squeeze if it hurts." i say walking beside the bed as she's wheeled in. i turn to riley who, as tears roll down her face, mouths 'thank you'.

they push maya through numerous sets of double doors until they stop to a halt in front of a big red pair.

"you can't come through here," a woman with a clipboard says turning to me and riley, "but please take a seat in the waiting room," she continues, gesturing at the rows of chairs, "and we will update you as soon as possible."

"wait what?" i stutter, "she can't do this alone, her moms not even here."

"maya is 15 and incase of an emergency, when she has not parent or guardian accompaniment, her mom has asked, on her medical documents, that the doctors do what is best for her and take life saving measures." the woman says and turns to push open the door as maya is wheeled through causing me and her to release hands.

"LIFE SAVING MEASURES!" i scream angrily.

"lucas please," riley says tugging my arm as i watch maya disappear around a corner, "come and sit down."

i walk over to the row of chairs with riley and even though she takes a seat i can't. i pace up and down in front of her until she grabs hold of my arm as i pass.

"lucas sit down." she says.

"how can i she's been pulled through the big red doors and the last word i heard from the nurse was "life saving measures.""

"what?" i hear katy's voice say and i whip round. she is standing right behind me, panting hard and her apron still round her waist. "what did you say?"

"um…" i mumble quietly and look to riley who's looking at the floor.

"well?" she asks, a little louder but neither of us answer and i starring at the floor too now. "where is she?" she storms off and i can tell she's panicked. her little girl is alone in hospital and she doesn't even know where she is.

i look up from the floor to see one of the big red doors swing back and fourth on it's hinges.

 **hey guys, i really appreciate all the reviews, follows and favourites that you guys have given this story and i have a few questions for you that you can answer in a review if possible. i wanna make you guys happy and pleased so please do answer them!**

 **1\. do you want me to update every night with shorter chapters OR every other night(** **ish) with longer chapters?**

 **2\. would yo read onshots if i were to write a few and post them as chapters in a story kinda thing?**

 **also if you have any ideas of lucaya/riarlie moments that you have or want to see then tell me and i'll add them in if they fit. i will also credit you if i use them.**

 **thank you sooooooooo much for all the support, its well loved and please keep reading! xx**


	42. shouting

katy's pov:

i push through the big red doors into the emergency department and storm through the corridor. i dodge moving beds and carts full of all sorts of medical equipment. i don't know which room my daughter's in but i will fine her.

"excuse me." a young man says tapping me gently on the arm. i don't stop, i keep walking. i need to see my baby girl. "excuse me," the man repeats stepping in front of me to stop me going any further, "your not supposed to be down here. can i help you with something."

i go to shout but stop. shouting wouldn't get me anywhere, "my daughter. she was rushed down here about… um…" i say, but don't know how long ago she arrived. i look at the floor and my breathing gets heavy.

"about when?" the man asks and tries to get me to look at him by bending down so i can see his face.

"um…" i repeat.

"about 12 minutes ago." i hear a voice say and look up to see a woman standing there, her blue scrubs covered in blood.

"MAYA!" i shout and run to the door, pressing my nose up to the small strip of glass separating me and maya. she is lying flat on a cold looking bed, still in the clothes she had left the house in that morning.

"she's not in pain. she's out cold." the dr says and as i turn to look at her a second time, i realise its dr gatley, maya's dr. "she had a haemorrhage. an inter cranial bleed. it got so heavy it pressed down in her blood vessels in her nose which caused then to fracture and bleed. it caused a major epistaxis, that why she's here."

i just stare at her, unable to say a word.

"please, this way miss hart." and she tries to ushers me back down the corridor, back towards the waiting room. i hesitate leaving maya and look back through the window. "she's in capable hands miss hart. she has head of neurology in there. see," she says pointing to a tall man with a surgical mask over his mouth, "he's not just handsome, he's an expert." she says and she smiles.

"he's not as handsome as…" i say but stop. shaun. i forgot to call shaun.

i start too speed walk down the corridor, breaking into a run and shoving the big red doors open.

"katy!" lucas says, "what's going on, did you see her?" but i don't reply and stop in the middle of the corridor. i turn this way and that looking at walls and doors leading to all different sorts of departments. i feel like the walls are closing in and everything starts to go blurry. i start to feel very drowsy and all i hear before i feel the cold hard ground is riley's voice and the sound of feet,

"KATY!"


	43. bbmmmmmmmmm

riley's pov:

she went a horrible pale white before falling to the floor and even though i screamed i wasn't fast enough. she lay on the floor, her blonde hair wrapped across her face.

"get her some water lucas." i say turning around to look at him but he was already over at the water fountain, the cup already half full. i kneel side her, lift her head and place it on my lap.

the doctor that came running through the doors after her had knelt down also and proceeded to remove her tight looking apron from around her waist.

"how's her breathing?" the woman asks and i bend over, turn my head and place my ear to her mouth.

"it's regular." i reply, looking back at the doctor and katy begins to wake, still in a daze and a horrid shade white.

"alright, lets get her up." she says and by this time lucas has come back carrying two cups of water. he places them on a table filled with magazines and a vase of flowers and comes over to help with katy. we lift her gently and place her in a chair, her head on lucas' shoulder. the doctor hands her one of the cups of water and she sips nervously on it. we sit in silence until katy is back to her original colour and then the doctor decide to explain maya's situation.

"stop." katy says, weakly "shaun needs to be here. i need to call shaun." she goes to stand up and i grab hold of her wrist that is resting on the arm of the chair.

"i'll call him." i say and i can tell she's thankful even when she doesn't say anything. her look says it all.

she slumps back down into the chair and i walk off, pulling my phone out my pocket. i dial shaun's number and place my phone to my ear. it ring a couple of time before he picks up and he's first to speak.

 _\- hey riles, aren't you mean't to be in class right now?_

 _\- listen uncle shaun. i'm with katy. we are at the emergency department at the hospital. mayathrewupatschoolandsowenttothenurse'sofficeandthenursesenthertotheclinic_

 _atthehospitalandonthewayshehadanosebleedandapparentlyitssomethingseriousandkatyfaintedandallshewantsisyou._

 _-bbmmmmmmmmmm._

he had hung up and he was angry.-

shaun walks into the hospital 16 minutes later and come running up to us. the first thing he does is hug katy,

"i can't help her 's in a room with strangers and i can't help her." shaun says, crying into his shoulder.

"shhhh, it's okay, she'll be okay." he says stroking her hair, "maya's tough she can handle it."

they break away and stare into each other's eyes. shaun kisses her on her nose and sits beside her.

for the next 20 minutes the nurse explain what happened and what the doctor are doing. everything she says is in fancy medical terms and non of us can understand a thing she's saying. all i know is that it's not good and that maya's illness has spread. quickly.


	44. no blonde mess

lucas' pov:

i can't take it all in. it's just unfair.

"maya has a large tumour we thought was benign. it has been pressing on a blood vessel in maya's nose which has caused the vessel to snap and which has, in turn, caused a major epistaxis, a nosebleed. as the blood vessel snapped it has hit the cartilage in maya's nose and a small part has broken off. this is a first for something like this to happen, cartilage is hard to break. but this piece has pierced the tumour and cause some major internal bleeding in the tumour. as we went in to relieve pressure in the tumour we found some cancerous growth inside. the tumour is malignant. cancerous."

i feel physically sick. it's cancerous. a brain tumour. katy starts to sob and rests her head on shaun shoulder. it takes her a while to calm down and relax but shawn starts talking to her about other schooling options for maya, and katy slowly starts to calm down. shawn face is white. he's holding himself together for katy but he is angry and upset inside. then i turn to riley and she's got tears rolling down her face. she's not sobbing and is trying to stay calm but she is confused and scared. shaun puts an arm round her too, pulls them both in close and as dr gatley starts talking about an online schooling program that maya can complete in order to still qualify for high school, a nurse comes walking through the big red doors in scrubs. i nudge riley on the arm and gesture towards the man. she looks over to him and a worried look appears on her face.

"dr gatley?" the nurse says coming over and tapping her on the shoulder. dr gatley turns around quickly and we all look up at him, "she's out and dr wibburn managed to fix the vessel and remove a large part of the tumour. she's should be waking up shortly, she's in the stanton room up on the 9th floor."

at hearing this i stand bolt up right and riley joins me. slowly but steadily shawn help katy up and dr gatley, without saying a word, leads us towards an elevator.

we stand in complete silence in the elevator and my hands are shaking. riley grabs hold of one and i look up at her.

'stay strong.' she mouths and i weakly smile back at her.

we walk down various halls and corridors before we reach a desk and two big blue doors.

"four passes to the stanton room please." dr gatley says to woman sitting behind a desk. she hands over four red key cards to dr gatley and she passes them round. the smell of medical equipment worsens as we walk through the blue doors and further down the corridor. dr gatley shakes a few hands as we pass fellow doctors but non of us say a word and katy, shawn and riley are walking with there heads low. we reach a wooden door with a small glass panel down one side but all the blinds are pulled and we can't see in.

shawn reaches for the door handle to open the door for katy but dr gatley interrupts.

"before we go in," she says looking at us all, "i want to inform you about some changes in maya's appearance. during the operation we had to make three incisions. one to maya's nasal septum, right here." she says and points to her nose, "and the second and third to her head, here and here." and she points to two places on her head. "maya looks different and because of her age the changes will be hard to just too so we advise that you don't mention it or bring it up. let her do it in her own time."

katy and riley mumble "okay." and shawn says, "sure." but i stay dead quiet thinking. they can't be that bad. they were only a few incisions and her hair would cover it.

shawn pushes open the door and we all walk inside but i don't think i'm ready for whats on the other side.

i can see where all three incisions would be because i can see all three bandages. i can see all three bandages because theres no blonde mess in the way. there's no blonde mess because they shaved it off. they shaved off her hair.

her head is turned and she's looking out the window at the surrounding buildings. her eye's are heavy and she looks like she is about to fall asleep. she turns to look at us when i shut the door behind me and but her face doesn't change like it usually would. there is no smile.


	45. tiptoeing

**an: hey guys, please leave a review because they make me wanna right more and please review or pm me with any lucaya moments you wanna see!**

 **sorry for the slow updates, its getting harder and harder to update daily but if i miss a day please don't stop reading!**

 **we are nearly at 50 reviews and i'll post my new oneshot on the "lucaya: oneshots" page when we get there so please keep going, also do you like this story or is it a load of drabble?**

 **so basically school has started again and theres my dance and stuff getting in the way but this weekend i was reading a tiramisuspices story (go check her out, her stuff is incredible) and then i realised what my story was missing and so i planned and mind mapped for ages to try and think of a great story for you guys and i have come up with one! it's gonna be called "the 9 times" and i have 9 chapters with a different lucaya moment every chapter that are linked together over a year AND THEN SOMETHING BIG HAPPENS IN THE 8TH AND THEN SOMETHING EVEN BIGGER HAPPENS IN THE 9TH, SO YEAH I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I POST IT!**

 **by the way, if you review with the names of your stories because i really want a good story to read, i'll comment your name and page to get more readers there if i like it!**

 **disclaimer (because apparently it's good to have one): i don't own girl meets world but if i did, you guys would be the first to meet the cast...**

maya's pov:

everyone always told me it would be the chemo that took my hair. not the cancer. the cancer had already taken enough of my life. it was the thing that was trying to help that should take it. the medicine.

thats why i never hope. hopes for suckers. hope is wishing the cancer would go away. hope's hope.

i hug my mum, shawn and riley one after the other and whilst riley sits on the end of my bed my mum and shawn take the seats next to me.

all that left is him. huckleberry. sundance. ranger rick… lucas.

but he doesn't come over to me and i'm glad. i'm glad because i don't know what i'd say to him. it's different with him.

my mum and riley start asking me questions and he just stands their looking over at me. we spend about 30 an hour talking about what happened and they go over what the procedure was. no one mentions my hair. and the fact thats its not there. it's probably sitting in some surgical bin seven floors below.

 _beep._ rileys phone goes off and she apologises as she reaches in her jacket pocket.

"it's my dad. he's downstairs. i better go and meet him, will you be okay?" she says, turning to me.

"i'll be fine riles, go. it's not like i'm going anywhere." and i smile at her, "for someone who has just come out of surgery, i feel pretty good."

she leans forward, hugs me and walk over to the door.

"maya, can we go with her?" mum asks and i turn to look at her, "i'd really like to speak to cory about erm… school." she says and her and shaun stand up.

"yeah sure. but can you do me a favour?" i ask

"what? anything." shaun says, chipping in for like the fourth time since he got here.

"get me a three musketeers bar out the vending machine. i've been eyeing it up since i passed it earlier and the dr wibburn said i had to wait forty minutes till i eat." i say and i do my best puppy dog eyes.

"sure thing." my mum says and bends down, kissing me on the forehead, "we'll only be a few minutes."

"i'll show you the way back to the waiting room." dr gatley says leading riley, mum and shawn out the door.

"see ya." i shout after them but an cut out by the door shutting.

"what's my new nickname?" i ask and lucas, who's dazing out the window, doesn't answer, "hey huckleberry, you gonna answer me because at the moment this lamp shade's being a better conversationalist than you."

"what?" he says, jumping round to face me, "oh, right sorry."

"so… my new nickname? what's it gonna be?"

"what?" lucas asks walking over to the bed.

"well i suppose you can keep short-stack because the cancer isn't gonna change my height, but you need more than one." i say blanking him.

"wait, what?" he repeats, sitting down on the edge of the bed quite close to me.

"the blonde beauty? it's gonna be quite hard to refer to me as that unless you mean my eyebrows." i say smiling and sit myself up a little more. he looks at me blankly and i know i made him awkward by bringing up my hair, "oh come on lucas, someone had to bring it up."

"um… yeah." he says looking down at the floor and forces out a cough in an attempt to clear his throat, "yeah okay."

"stop it." i say and he looks up at me. "riley, my mum and shawn are all tiptoeing around my and thats fine. but you can't. i, i…"

"what?" lucas asks and his voices strengthens, "what maya?" and he looks straight into my eyes.

"i need you." i say and he grabs behind my neck as he kisses me on the lips. it's passionate but caring. its got lucas written all over it.


	46. oxygen

**OMG, you all need to go and search up promo 2 for girl meets texas! LUCAYA moment! it sent chills down my back and i have watched it like 18 times! the writers probably compared all the rucas shippers to lucaya shippers and realised their was a lot more of us! i really hope maya doesn't just apologise and then it's back to rucas, i want lucaya to be a thing! riley can fall for say or something!**

 **also please please please go and read fanatic21's lucaya oneshots, i love them and it's what got me writing! she pm'ed me and i was sooooo excited!**

 **disclaimer: i don't own girl meets world but i will... one day.**

lucas' pov:

i couldn't help it. she had said the three words i needed to hear most and so i kissed her. she kissed me back and a wave of relief spread over me. i wanted to show her i was passionate but i cared. i cared a lot.

moments before she had brought up her hair and i didn't know what to say. i couldn't come up with a nickname. she would always be the blonde beauty to me.

she pulls away and her face is lit up. we sit with our foreheads resting together and i look down into her eyes. her hair might be gone but her eyes aren't.

"i'll take big loud elephant steps from now on." i say, "no more tiptoeing." and i smile at her.

she snorts a little and then starts to cough. she tries to hide it and looks up at me, holding her breath, but her little chest tightens and she sinks into a very pale colour. she releases the cough and its petty and light but serious, she can't breath, she can't get the air in. she feels around behind her and i reach over to help,

"what?" i say frantically but she can't answer. she grabs hold of the thing she was looking for - an oxygen mask - and she yanks the strap behind her head, inhaling and exhaling deeply. it went from calm to this in less than 60 seconds flat.

i lay her back gently and use the remote clipped to the side of the bed to lower the bed down. she rolls over to face me and i lay down behind her, wrapping my arm over her, behind her head and around her shoulder, pulling her close and squeezing gently. she takes hold of my hand and squeezes, with all her energy, back. it's gentle and i barely feel it but she's trying and i know that she means a lot.

i kiss the top of her fore head and she rests her head on my chest. she reaches up with her free hand and lifts the mask from her mouth and nose,

"i've got a nickname for me." she says quietly and her voice is raspy and dry, "girlfriend."


	47. breathing

hey guys, so basically i want to write my new story so i can post the first chapter to you. i have done soooooo much planning and still have a little left to do, buy i have no time to do it. i'm really sorry but i can no longer update everyday. i will update every monday, wednesday and friday as well as one of the weekend days!

please keep reading and i want to say a huge thank you for all the reviews, favourites and follows you have given the story. it means sooooooo much to me and i really appreciate the support.

also, i have just created a twitter account for gmw and would really love some followers! the names: rowbrinagmworld and at the moment its got 0 followers and i want sabrina to see it! if sabrina comments or follows me back (which i know will never happen!) i will tag your names in a post to say thanks!

plllleeeeeeaaaaassssssseeeeee go follow it!

disclaimer: i don't own girl meets world but i really want to.

maya's pov:

i say the word before i think about it. girlfriend. i want it in my head so badly, but reality hits the words as soon as they leave my tongue and i crumble.

i look up at him and he's looking down straight into my eyes.

"no." he says and my face drops as i try not to show how shocked i am at how blunt he is being, "'girlfriend' could mean your anybody's. how about 'lucas''?"

my worried expression turns into a smile and i start to laugh again; the coughing not far behind. this time it's worst that before. it is painful and it hurts my chest.

"lucas…" i say still trying to keep a smile as i cough.

"…or maybe we could just write 'property of lucas' on your forehead in permanent marker." he continues, still laughing.

"LUCAS!" i say a little louder and then i start to splutter everywhere. he jumps up and his expression turns from humorous to worried. i can't stop coughing and i lay back, breathing deeply into the mask.

"okay, lay still, you've just left surgery, i should have known better" he says and he's eyes dart to behind my bed, "i'll call the nurse."

my breathing turns wheezy as the nurse, dr gatley and another doctor, i don't recognise, run in.

"okay maya breath slowly and heavy. that's it." dr gatley says taking my hand.

"add 0.6 more of the corticosteroids and start her on a blood drip." i hear the other doctor say to the nurse. i'm staring at the ceiling, concentrating on my breathing and the pain in my chest, but look over as the nurse walks to my side.

"maya, i'm going to add another cannula in your right arm so we can give you more blood. your red blood cells compared to your white is extremely high so we want to try and balance it out. okay?" the nurse says and i nod weakly in reply. i already have 3 or 4 of the needles in my arm and they are extremely painful.

the nurse wipes my arm with some brown disinfectant and pulls the skin tight. i have one doctor adding medicine, one leaning over me telling me to breath and a third about to prod me with a needle. i never expected it to be this bad. i thought chemo and appointments, not this. this isn't what i signed up for…

…but then again i didn't sign up for cancer either.


	48. hospice

i hope you enjoy this chapter, the suspense is building. thanks for the reviews and go follow my twitter account: rowbrinagmworld

also don't forget to watch girl meets rah rah straight after the DCOM invisible sister premiering tonight at 8:30p (west coast)

disclaimer: i do not own girl meet world

lucas' pov:

it has been 4 months since the first op. i race up the stairs to her front door, pull out a freshly cut key, push it into the lock and turn. i step into a scene i don't want to see, maya's got company…

i recognise the eyes, maya may have forgotten but i haven't. that man was on the top of my list. and not the good one.

"get out." i demand, my voice sounding definite and coarse. maya whips round, the scarf on her head floating down in the man-made breeze.

"lucas." she say and she looks back to the man sitting opposite her.

"i should leave." he says standing up and he bends down and kisses her on the forehead, a smile appearing on her face.

"yeah you should." i say taken a step forward and holding the door open.

"LUCAS!" maya says loudly but i don't care if i'm being bluntly rude. this man has hurt maya more than anyone else in her life and it's not fair on her for him to traipse back in here, acting like her best friend.

"bye maya." he says, walking out the door and round, down the stairs.

"bye." she calls after his as i slam the door shut in one swift motion.

"maya why are you seeing him. he hurt you, what don't you get about that?" i say and i take a seat next to her.

she doesn't answer me but starts to explain everything, "well after the topanga confrontation i looked him up in the phone directory and he works down in los angeles now. i gave him a call and explained about the cancer and apologised about running off."

"you apologised to him." i shout, maybe a little too loudly.

"he apologised first." she explains, "as soon as he knew it was me. he then got on a plane and flew all the way here. mum knows he's here and so does shaun. they were mad when they found out but they both understand why i'm doing it."

"well please explain because i don't." i say and she looks at me before looking down at the ground.

"the cancer's gotten worst." she says and i lose all strength to speak, "i just want everything to be okay in case anything happens to me."

"maya don't say that." i say, after regaining all my normal strength, my voice a little croaky at first. i take hold of her chin in my cold hand and tilt her face to meet mine, "it'll be okay but if it's important that you rekindle your relationship with your dad then i'll be behind you 100%. i'll learn to like him if it means that much to you.

"lucas, listen. after talking to my dad about the cancer he let me know about a youth creative arts hospice for cancer patients. it's for people aged 12-16 that need a place to stay that has the right medical equipment etc and it's full of art studios, dance studios and recording equipment. i might check it out a bit. you know, spend a month or so there. i can paint and stuff too. and the staff are meant to be really friendly."

"maya, although i miss seeing you at school already we can still hand out at topanga's and stuff. we can still come visit you and maybe even record a song for a laugh. you know how good my voice is." i say and i start to laugh.

maya isn't laughing though. she has a serious look on her face. all of a sudden it isn't funny anymore and she looks back to the floor. she's fiddling with her hands in her lap, "lucas… the hospice is in los angeles."


	49. that look

hey guys i'm really sorry about the slow down in updates but i'm following my promise of updating one weekend day as well as monday, wednesday, friday so here you go. i'm sorry it's so short but there is going to be around 3 more chapters and then a massive 2,000 word chapter and then an epilogue. i'm really sorry its a sudden end but i really had no plan for this story and am finding really hard to write for it. i have planned and planned and planned my new story ('girl meets the nine times') and i cannot wait for you to read it!

please review and add comments (i appreciate any bad comments you have about me ending the story. this just helps me with future stories - knowing what you like and enjoy reading.)

thank you for all the follows, favourites and reviews! i know they take a lot of time and it means so much that your spend your time writing a review.

disclaimer: i don't own girl meets world but sabrina, rowan, peyton and corey will be my best friends one day...

maya's pov:

he has that look in his eyes. the same look he got when he was talking to billy ross. that angry look. the look that scares me. i turn to look at him but he's not sitting in front of me anymore. he's not even sitting down.

all i hear is the sound of the door and my voice trails away as i shout after him.

as soon as i set myself and calmed myself down i pulled my phone out my pocket,

 _lucas please… just listen._ \- i type, my hands shaking as i tap the keys on the screen.

i'll give him space, he needs to calm down. i lock the screen and place my phone down on the coffee table next to the brochure for the hospice. i want to go. but i want lucas more.

he knows the hospice can help me. he knows how advanced they are compared to the clinic. if this is how he acted, even when he knew this, then maybe the cancer was tearing us apart. maybe he couldn't cope.

 _bzzz._

my phone moves ever so slightly on the table as it vibrates. and i reach, nervously, down to pick it up. the coldness of the metal spreading through my finger tips as i make contact with the piece of machinery, the piece of technology.

i enter my passcode and read the word on the screen. one word two letters.

 _go._


	50. authors note

hey guys, i really want to update tonight but i have planned the ending and the last 4 chapters (and epilogue!) are going to be long ones so it's going to be weekly updates every friday! also there are two ways it could go so please vote for the ending you want to see happen:

1\. maya goes to los angeles.

2\. maya stays in new york.

there will be a little twist with each ending so chose wisely!

thank you so much for all the support yogis have shown me i really appreciate it! and there should be a new onshot on the 'lucaya:oneshot' page soon!

i can't for friday, the next chapter and girl meets texas!

sorry again but the ending i have planned - with either one you pick - is going to be good!


	51. i'll wait

hey guys, i am sooooooo sorry for the really late update but i am sooooo happy with it and i have a fab idea for the ending now. in this update there is more than one point of view.

thank you for all you votes and i have counted them up to help decide the ending.

i will give a shout out to the person who finds the 3 sentences used in a previous chapter. there about a facial feature and are consecutive. the first time they were used it was lucas taking about maya and now it's maya talking about lucas. go find them!

please review because it means a lot to me and i really appreciate it.

i also want to thank you all for sticking with the story i really appreciate it.

my next oneshot should be on soon too!

i going to stop babbling now and let you read! go.

disclaimer: i don't own girl meets world... yet.

lucas' pov:

i storm down the street. the cold pushing me backwards as i walk against the wind. then i stop. i feel the anger building up through my body and it causes my body to shake.

one month. one month without maya. i can't do it. but who am i kidding? she won't come back. i will never have maya back. she's gone. forever.

i sit down on the side walk staring out to look down at the long parallel buildings that create either side of the can see all the buildings but then they disappear as the road curves down hill. it's like maya. visible until she takes an unexpected turn. to LA. the other side of the country. to the other side of america. i can't see maya anymore just like i can't see the other end of the street.

maya's pov:

he can't of gotten far so i grab my coat of the hook hanging onto the wall by a rusty half broken nail. as i step outside the cold hits me like a slap to the face and i pull me coat further round my waist. my walk turns into a run as i turn the corner but i stop abruptly as i see lucas, the back of he's recognisable head, as he stares down 5th avenue without a movement.

i take a few steps forward and lean up against a pipe running up the side of a brick wall.

"what's in LA you can't get here?" he says and i jump. was i that loud? how did he know i was behind him?

"what?" i reply even though i heard him loud and clear.

"in LA," he repeats to clarify, still staring down the street in front, "what's there that you can't get here?"

"lucas…" i start but he interrupts,

"answer the question maya." he says, his voice strengthening.

"the hospice. i've told you." i say and i sit down next to him. my voice is like a mouse in comparison to his.

he turns to look at me and i stare into his muggy green eyes, "there has to be a hospice like that here."

"lucas…"

"NO THERE HAS TO BE." he shouts and he yanks his phone out of his pocket to google it. i've never seen this side of him before. he's panicky and flustered. he's not lucas. he's not the lucas i know.

he's frantically scrolling down the google page, his thumb shaking as he does so. his face is red and he's got sweat running down his forehead. he looks ill.

"lucas, calm down." i say and as i pry his phone from him with one hand, i hold one of his with the other. he looks up at me and his face goes from violently red to a pale yellow colour within the space of a couple of seconds.

he looks to the floor, "i'm sorry."

"what?" i say and i bend forward to try and catch his glance, "what are you sorry about."

"everything. i've been a total jerk and when you need me most i've been isolating myself from you. not just now but with the cancer in general."

"it's fine. everybody has."

"no it's not. being ill makes you feel alone enough without me joining in the game. i'm sorry."

he looks like he's about to cry and so i do the only thing i know that will lift his spirits. i kiss him.

lucas' pov:

i pull away after a couple of seconds and her facial expression drops.

"maya." i say and she looks up at me, "go. if LA is what is going to make you happy and help you get better, go."

"but…"

"go. i'll wait."

maya's pov:

we sit looking down the street, hip to hip on the sidewalk. he knows i'm not going anywhere and i know he's not moving a muscle. i won't let him.

after 10 or so minutes he breaks the silence. the sound isn't unwanted, its just different. good different, even though i wouldn't admit it to his face, i like the raspiness of his texas accent,

"you need to call your dad." he says, "you need to let him know. here." and he pulls out his phone.

"not now." i say and push the phone away with my hand. i keep my head on his shoulder, tilting it slightly to look down at the phone as i do so.

"maya, call him." and he jerks the phone towards me as i sit up and turn to him.

he doesn't need to say anything for me to know he's not going to drop the subject. i can see it in his eyes. he's got nice eyes. secretive eyes. i like them.

i take the phone and dial the number my dad gave me.

lucas' pov:

one month. one month without maya. i can't can do it. i have to. if not for me then for maya.

i don't expect the words that come out of her mouth after she hangs up.

"when are you going?" i ask, knowing it's better to rip the band aid off as fast a possible.

"two days." she replies.

ouch. that band aid was a sticky one. it hurt a lot. inside i'm crumpling. crumpling like a wet piece of paper.

"we better go start packing." i say, plastering a smile across my face. she buys it and holds her hand out as she stands up.

"suppose we should." she says and she smiles back as i take her hand and stand too.

maya's pov:

one month. one month without lucas. i can't can do it. i have to. if not for me then for lucas.

i don't expect the words that come out of my dads mouth when i ask him when we're leaving.

"i'm flying back in two days time. come with me." he says and he sounds over the moon.

"ummm… okay." i respond, "i've gotta go, but okay." and i hang up the phone.

"when are you going?" lucas asks, and i know i should just say it. i know it's better to rip the band aid off as fast a possible.

"two days." i reply.

this band aid was a bad one. i can see he's hurt but trying not to show it. it hurt a lot for me too. inside i'm crumpling. crumpling like a wet piece of paper.

"we better go start packing." he says, plastering a smile across his face. i pretend to buy it and hold out my hand as i stand up.

"suppose we should." i say. he stands up as he takes my hand and i draw on my best fake smile too.


	52. authors note two

Hey guys, I know I should have updated on friday but I left my notebook at school and it has all the plans for the next chapter in it. I tried to write the chapter anyway but I was terrible and so I gave up. It's autumn break and I'm not in school for like a another week BUT I persuaded my mum to take my to school and pick it up. I will update as soon as I have my book back!

Sorry.


	53. authors note three

Hey guys, this will be the last authors note before the next chapter, which will be uploaded at the latest this friday! I am so sorry for not updating but (if you have read my last chapter) you will know that I left my notebook at school. It's full of plans, future stories and loads of ideas and - because NO ONE can touch it - I locked it in my locker on the last day of half term...

...then I left it there. I had a total panic for about 4 hours on the friday night when I went to my school bag and it wasn't there but school starts tomorrow so I can finally get it back! This means a new chapter and there is also a oneshot that I'm going to write up to add to the, currently lonely, collection.

Sorry for another authors note but I think you all deserve (another) explanation.

Also, GIRL MEETS FORGIVENESS, I can't wait! Even though there is no Lucaya, it is still going to be cool meeting maya's dad!

Also, please go and vote on my poll on my profile. It's about ships etc and I'd really appreciate it!

Also, I'm collaborating with Fanatic21 on a Lucaya story and I love the whole storyline. It's still in it's planning stages but I'm sure you guys are going to love it!

Thanks for all the reviews 107! And I'd also like to say a big thank you too everyone, even if you didn't review, follow or favourite because everyday when I go to the 'Manage Stories' page of my account, the views are increasing massively! Today it reached 58,225 and I am so overwhelmed! Even if you don't like the story or you didn't even read it, you spent time clicking on it so THANK YOU!

It makes me so happy! I don't even know what to do!

Thank you...

...again.


	54. suitcase

lucas pov:

we don't go and pack. we walk to the apartment and she collapses on the sofa. i know what to do. i've been in this position before.

it was after a chemo session and she could barely walk. i had to carry her up the stairs to her apartment and her eyes were fluttering by the time i reached the top.

this was the same. the exact same. she was rubbing her eyes snuggling up to the cushions surrounding her. i walk over to the DVR and put on the film thats sitting, without a case, on top. it's her favourite. i don't think i have ever seen it in its case.

she always dreamed of being taken of to neverland. a place with no end. a place you never grow up. peter pan.

i grab the remote and climb under the blanket with her. she repositions herself so her head is resting on my chest, her arm wrapped around me. i like this side of maya. it gives me someone to take care of.

we get about half way through the film when maya's mum rings. i pause it as maya leans forward and picks up her phone, reluctantly hitting the answer button and placing the phone to her ear. i can't hear whats being said at the other end of the phone but maya sits back and crosses her legs to her chest. thats my cue to leave. maya has some explaining to do and i don't want to get in the way. i stand up and leave the room quietly, my exit not even registering on maya's face. i stand in the kitchen, maya still on my mind, shoving a couple of teaspoons of powder into the two mugs i grabbed out the cupboard.

i walk back into the living room carrying the two hot chocolates. i'm glad i placed them on the table before i look at maya. her eyes are red and puffy, she is sitting starring blankly at nothing in particular and she gives a weak sniff.

"she cried." she says, "the only time i've heard her cry like that is when dad left."

"maya.."

"is it odd that i still want to go? i heard my own mother beg me not to leave, yet i still think this is the best thing for the cancer."

"no maya."

"but what if your wrong?" she says turning to look at me now. i can see the tears forming in her eyes but she rubs them away before they fall down her cheek. she shakes her head turns to look at the paused tv screen. "lets just watch the movie," she says gesturing half-heartedly at the screen, "this is the good bit."

"maya…?"

"lucas, i'm going. end off. the sooner i go, the sooner i will be back cancer free." she is forcing herself to be happy. she is plastering a smile across her face and you can see the madness overcast her normal thoughts. "look, i will go. come on lets pack now." she says grabbing my hand and pulling me off towards her bedroom.

"maya… stop, can't we just talk." she does what i ask and she stops in her tracks, turning to face me.

"you and riley spend years telling me to have hope, believe in something but here you are, taking the only hope i've got, away. i'm going. you watch me." and with that she turns and walks straight into her bedroom.

i rush after her but stop abruptly at the door. it's not a bedroom. it's too cold; too isolating.

there is a iron bed, a closet and an easel. the carpet is worn and all but one wall is a deep purple/grey. the last wall is coated with photographs; photographs stuck next to sketches, drawings and paintings. each piece of art work is a recreation, a copy, of the photo. and each one is down to a tee.

by taking one look at mayas bedroom you realise how little she has. you see the reason a fully paid for clinic in la sounds so appealing to her. you understand it all. you grasp maya as a human being. it all makes sense.

i fall out of wonderland to see maya stuffing clothes into suitcase.

"maya! what are you doing?" i say, rushing over and attempting to pull her arms round her back.

"going to la." she replies and breaks free from my hold, and running into her closet. she returns with a pile of clothes laying, creased, still on their hangers, over her forearm.

"maya, listen." i say trying to take hold of her arm once again. she shakes her elbow as she dumps the clothes on her suitcase, folds over the ends of the long ones and slams the suitcase shut.

"maya, come on…" i repeat and i embrace her back in an unwelcomed hug, a hug that is not even acknowledged. she continues to hauls all her weight on top of the suitcase and desperately tries to zip the suitcase shut.

"maya, stop!" i say and try my hardest to pry her off the suitcase. "listen to me, just stop!" we are rolling around frantically as she tries to pull herself from my grasp. "maya, don't do this."

then she stops. she releases the suitcase and i release her. we are sitting on the bed side by side.

then the words leave maya's mouth that cast a silence over the room. they plug my throat so not even a squeak can leave my mouth, "i don't want cancer."


	55. goodbye: part 1

so here it is guys. part 1 of the final chapter. i'm sorry it has taken me two and a half weeks but i planned it and when i went to write it i couldn't portray what i wanted to.

i had an ending and really liked it even though i knew some of you would disagree BUT then i was at school and i was in the library writing (like i do every day). i was planning "girl mets the nine times" when i got a sudden idea for the story. i can't wait to write it and the next part should be out next friday! i can't wait and i really want you to review to i can see what you think of the last chapter so far.

also can please review with whether you want a epilogue or not because i'll go with majority!

so here it is and i am sooooooo pleased with it. please comment and review because i know everyone says it makes them write better but - and i don't want sympathy - school people are being really bitchy at the moment and it cheers me up. i go to the library to plan more stories because i like it more than hanging around with bitches at lunch. i like it, and your reviews just make it worth while. so thank you. thank you very much indeed.

maya's pov:

have you ever had that feeling where you don't want to open your eyes? when you know that what lays beyond is going to tear you limb for limb?

i know what to expect. tears and hugs. i know that i am going to leave today, alone.

then i feel it. the warm body pressed against my side. the arm around my neck, pulling me in close. and then i remember the previous night.

 _flashback:_

 _"_ _what's the time?" riley asks, the credits to BAD NEIGHBOURS rolling up the tv screen. we had spent the evening curled up in my living room, watching films and pigging out on chinese take-out. it was my last night with them and even though it was simple it was us summed up._

 _lucas reaches down to his phone, releasing the hug we had going on and presses the home button. "half ten." he says and he leans back pulling me back into the hug._

 _"_ _i'm tired." i say and coincidentally yawn._

 _"_ _i think you need to sleep." lucas says and stands up, turning to face me and holding out a hand._

 _"_ _i can sleep on the plane." i reply and i attempt to bat his hand away._

 _we continue to bicker and mess around. this is what i would miss. i am not going to find friends like this in la._

 _"_ _maya. come on." lucas says and he tugs on my ankle that he is gripping with both hands in an attempt to pull me off the sofa._

 _"_ _no we can't." we hear riley giggle quietly and turn to see farkle whispering in her ear. "no farkle, later." and she laughs again._

 _farkle starts to kiss her neck and me and lucas turn to look at each other, a look of disgust on our faces. we smile as we see the others expression and lucas gestures towards my bedroom as a signal to leave._

 _as we reach my bedroom door we hear a playful yelp from riley and i laugh as i shut the door closed and turn to lucas, who is sitting nervously on the edge of my bed._

 _"_ _soooo…" i say and i lean back against the door._

 _"_ _soon…" he imitates and he looks to the floor as i walk over and plonk myself down next to him._

 _it's awkward between us. i don't think we have ever been alone like this before. okay, we've been alone but… not with this sort of tension. this is different._

 _"_ _so, la…" he starts._

 _"_ _no la." i say, "not now." this stumps him and he looks to the ground again. "um…"_

 _"_ _lucas." i blurt quietly, cutting across his train of thought._

 _"_ _yeah." he says looking up. his eyes meet mine with a curious, hopeful feel to them and i stop._

 _i stop all words, all thoughts and all movements. everything i am thinking about is washed from my brain and i just stop._

 _"_ _lu… lucas." i stumble but he is already leaning in towards me. i feel his warm breath on my lips and i… i pull away._

 _i take a sharp breath in and my heart stops. i don't know what made me do it. well, i do. but i didn't want it to stop me._

 _his facial expression sinks and he looks disappointed._

 _"_ _lucas… it's not that… it's not that i don't want to. i mean i do but…"_

 _"_ _but what?"_

 _"_ _but i don't want to do it and leave."_

 _"_ _what?"_

 _we hear another yelp from the living room but this time it's farkle._

 _"_ _you would have never thought of them two would you?" i say and play with the hem of my over-sized t-shirt._

 _"_ _maya."_

 _"_ _they are cute though."_

 _"_ _maya."_

 _"_ _but thinking about it are they about to do it for the first time in my living room" and i stand up to walk over to the door._

 _"_ _MAYA." lucas says and take hold of my arm. he stands up, turns me round and pulls me close. "what do you mean you don't want to do it and go?"_

 _i look at the ground but lucas places his hand under my chin and brings my gaze back to his. "maya, please."_

 _i guess he deserves to know but i have a odd feeling in my stomach. a feeling that is telling me to keep my mouth shut._

 _"_ _i don't want you to feel like i used you. like it happened and i left."_

 _"_ _maya…"_

 _"_ _and i know you are going to tell me thats not what it's like but for me, well, it is and i don't want to do that." i look back at the floor._

 _"_ _maya…"_

 _"_ _can we just not talk about. i've told you what i think and i'd prefer it if we just didn't."_

 _"_ _maya." i look up at him to see that we are inches apart. he is smiling and has that look, that look of understanding in his eye. "i never said i wanted to either." and that was it. my heart sank as his warm lips were pressed against mine; it was passionate yet caring. he knew how far to take it and it made me comfortable knowing what he wanted too._

 _to be honest thats the last thing i remember. everything else was a bit blurry. the funny thing was we hadn't even drunken anything._

my eyes spring open when the flashback running through my mind ends and i lift the cover to check if i am still clothed. t-shirt - check. underwear - check. i'm covered.

i look up to lucas who is still zonked out next to me. his tongue basically hanging out one side of his mouth. he doesn't look like he'll be waking up anytime soon so i decide to slip out to get a drink and check up on the two lovebirds next-door.

i tiptoe across the bedroom and try my best to quietly open the creaky door so not to wake lucas. i peel through the small gap i've created and disappear into the hallway.

i walk through to the kitchen and peer over to see riley and farkle sleeping as a hump, together, on the sofa. i can see blankets and clothes everywhere and the containers of chinese are upturned all over the floor. they had a fun night. or at least it sounded like one.

i swing open a cupboard, no longer bothering to be quiet, and test the waters cold enough before filling the glass. i trudge back to the doorway turning back to glance at farkle and riley. i chuckle to myself and turn back to head to my room but i stop. i see it. the suitcase. it's sitting at the door; waiting. it's full of clothes and essentials. everything you'd need for a holiday. although this doesn't feel like a holiday. it seems like more of a chore going to la.

it's that time. everyone's standing in front of the car, tissues at the ready and dads helping me load my heavy suitcase into the car.

i turn to face them all. they are all there. riley, farkle, zay, mr matthews, mrs matthews, auggie, ava, josh, eric, shaun and mum. oh… and lucas.

all of them.

i start the good byes. it's better if i start them now. it's better if i get them over with. i hug auggie and ava, eric and josh. then cory and topanga.

"mum and dad two!" i shout, as i wrap my arms around them both and squeeze them both tight. "thank you… for everything."

"no, thank you. thank you for making riley who she is and letting her grow. thank you for telling us to stop telling her off so we can just enjoy watching her grow up. thank you for teaching us." cory says and i smile up at him. he has taught me so much. so much mum and shaun can't.

but mums next and i spend a lot of time with her. i talk to her about later, when she comes to see me.

"i might have hair!" i say, a tone of excitement escaping in my voice.

"it wouldn't matter if you didn't." shaun says joining in the conversation and he kisses me on the head. mum kisses me too and pulls me into a tight hug.

"love you."

"love you too."

now theres just the four of them. and i don't feel i can do it separately. we have a big group hug and i feel myself tearing up again.

"i love you guys. don't forget me."

"forget maya hart. do you really think that could happen." zay says and i give him a hug.

"well actually, people tend to forget others around 4 days after they leave because they leave their thought pat…" farkle starts.

"FARKLE!" they all shout and he looks embarrassed.

"awww farkle, i'm gonna miss you. stay weird." i say and pull him into a tight embrace, lifting him off the ground, his arms stuck down by his sides.

"tha… nks. ma… ya." he whispers and i can tell he's having trouble breathing.

"sorry." i say plonking him down on the floor and straightening up his shirt.

"maya calm down." riley says turning to me.

"riles, im fine. i'm just going to miss you all."

"i know peaches and we are going to miss you too but you'll be back and until then we can FaceTime and Skype, don't worry."

"i know honey, i love you. thank you for being you. for being my good side."

"i love you to peaches." she replies and hugs me tightly. i'm going to miss her but i think the thing thats getting me through it is that she won't let this friendship end. she'll see me again.

i turn around; see him. it's lucas. and i don't even want to start.


	56. goodbye: part 2

hey guys, this is the last chapter and i'm really sad! i'm sorry that it's ending but a lot of people have pm-ed me asking for a epilogue and i think everyone else might want one after you read the chapter!

i know the ending might frustrate you but i love it!

please review to vote for epilogue or not (after you read the chapter).

i am also sorry it's really short! i wanted it to be longer but it sounded so prolonged and stupid otherwise. short and sweet, ey?

i hope you enjoyed this story! i have a couple of oneshots to post on my oneshots collection soon so keep an eye out for that too!

thank you to everyone who has even clicked on the title of the story and for some of you, thank you for taking the time to read the whole thing! it means the world to me!

so go on then read; what are you waiting for?

maya's pov:

"you need to go up to him." riley says and i snap out of my thoughts.

"what?" i say turning my body to her, my eyes still stuck on the boy laughing with mr matthews.

"lucas. go talk to him. your leaving and you need to talk to him. he needs you to talk to him."

"he's okay. look."

lucas turns to look at me and instantly stops laughing. our meet eyes and he starts to walk directly towards me.

"he's not maya. not ins…"

"shhhhh…" i say and i whack her on the arm. it's like i'm some innocent school girl who's boy crush is about to ask her to prom. it's ridiculous.

lucas is there standing right in front of me and i can't take my eyes off him.

it all happens in a second. his lips are on mine, his hands holding my hips tightly, pulling me closer. his lips are warm and he's passionate and caring. i hear whoops and cheers from around us and my mum is attempting to hold back shaun.

i know he doesn't like to see me with boys; he's protective, it's cute.

lucas pulls away, smiling, and kisses me gently stroking my cheek and pecking my lips gently.

"lucas." i say and i laugh quietly as he pecks down my neck. "lucas stop, lucas, lucas people are watching."

"i don't care." he says, his mouth pressed against my neck. he pulls away and looks at me. he looks at me. he actually looks at me.

"this isn't goodbye." i say, "it isn't. it's just see you later." and i kiss him once more on the lips before i turn, open the taxi door and get in, waving at the rest of them before turning to lucas as he shuts the taxi door.

i watch him as the taxi pulls off. as it turns the corner and he disappears.

and i realise. i realise how much i'm going to miss him.

lucas' pov:

she's gone. and she was wrong. maya harts never been wrong before but she was this time. it's not see you later, if she gets on that plane, she's gone. it's goodbye.

"i'm not letting her get on that plane." i say and i run to the kerb yelling for a taxi, gesturing my arm in the air.

"lucas! lucas, no." riley says and she tries to pin my waving arm to my side.

"she knows it's goodbye but she didn't want to say it." i say, turning to riley as a taxi pulls up, "i have to go, she can't get on that plane." and with that, i turn, yank open the car door, get in, shut the door and speed off.

leaving riley standing on the kerb; gob-smacked.

when i get to the airport i freeze. i don't know what to do. have i made a mistake? is this the wrong thing to do?

and then i start to walk. i walk to the desk. i buy the ticket. i go through security. and i run to the gate. i walk past the duty free and starbucks and i can see the gate number at the end of the corridor. i can see the planes lined up through the window and i can see the lines of people as they wait to board the planes. i can see everything; except her.

i walk to the boarding desk at the gate.

"has the flight left. has this flight gone." i ask and i lean forward towards to boarding attendant.

"yes sir. but if you mis…"

"damn it!" i interrupt and slam my foot on the floor.

i look out the window onto an empty runway. no plane. no maya.

she's gone. she got on the plane. and it's goodbye. forever.

i can't just stand there. she has to know i tried. i call. i know she won't answer, she's on the plane, but i leave a voicemail. she'll like that. she always says how she listens to voicemails during chemo when it's school hours and she can't call.

the phone rings out and the annoying pre-recorded message starts to play.

'i'm sorry, but the person you've called can't take your call at the moment. please leave a message after the tone. if you wish to delete your message press #. once you've finished your message simply hang up.' beep.

i don't say anything. the line is silent.

i don't think you can say anything. i don't think anyone would be able to say anything.

i looked up. i looked up halfway through the recorded message. and i shouldn't have. she hadn't gotten on the plane. and neither had kermit.

maya was lying on the floor around 20 metres away, surrounded by paramedics and medical equipment, kermit crying at her side.

my phone slides out of my grip and onto the floor. my arms feel weak but my legs aren't. they pull me towards maya until i'm at her side, starring down at her lifeless body.

"charge to 200." a paramedic says and grabs hold of two paddles.

maya was wrong. it was goodbye. forever.


	57. who

who said she died...


	58. epilogue

**Hiya - I'm sorry it has taken me so long to write this and publish it but every time I wrote it, it never felt like it would do the story justice and finish it off properly.**

 **You guys have been so lush with your reviews and comments even if I did annoy some of you with the ending! :D**

 **Here it is though - the epilogue that everyone requested!**

 **I know a lot of you were disappointed by the ending or were shocked about how it ended, but hopefully this epilogue should clear a few things up.**

 **I also have a new collab coming out as soon as possible called Girl Meets Pappy Joe, but me and Fanatic21 (go check out her stuff) are going to publish it on a joint account call GirlMeetsFanatic.**

 **It's another Lucaya story and should hopefully be up before March-ish, so keep an eye out?**

 **Anyway go enjoy the last part of this story and if you have any questions/requests, like normal, just PM me - I'm always looking for ideas!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Girl Meets World or any of the characters used :D**

Lucas stood looking down the hill at the rows of stone and flowers that surrounded him; the neatly dug patches of earth that had been emptied and filled with each person that lay here.

He reached up to straighten his tie and as he watched out into the field of silence and tears, his muscles tensed and he felt a sense of relief.

People filed into the church behind him and left him standing in the cold with nothing but his skin and shirt to keep him from collapsing.

"Lucas!" said Riley as she ran towards him and grabbed his arm tight, "It's freezing out here and you need to come in."

"Is everything ready?" He asked in response, his eyeline staying fixed on looking out on the hill.

"Yeah it is - they're gonna start soon. Everyone is inside: Katy, Shawn, Dad, Mom, Farkle, Zay, Aug…" Riley said trying to gently pull him towards the entrance.

"She will like the view." Lucas interrupted, "When she gets out here and she's looking out over the hill like I know she will be, she'll like the view."

"She will Lucas," Riley said standing up next to him and looking out, "she'll love it."

They stood there just the two of the for a couple of minutes. They both thought about the last 4 years and how everything changed. Neither said a thing but Lucas could feel himself tearing up.

"We should, erm… get um, in." He stumbled, tilting his head down to look at Riley.

She looked back up at him and immediately saw his watery eyes in the light.

"Lucas," She said smiling, reaching up with her thumb and wiping his cheek softly, "She won't want you being sad. This is HER day. All hers, 'because you only get one' is what she'd say."

Lucas smiled and chuckled softly, "You're right." He said taking a deep breath in and rubbing his eyes with his suit sleeve, "She'd kill me if she knew."

"Trust me." Riley said, smiling brightly, "She knows."

"Oh, I know." Maya said smiling, and Lucas and Riley turned round rapidly to see her standing behind them. "And you're right, it is my day so go get your butts in that church."

"MAYA!" Riley said, looking back and forth at her and Lucas, "He shouldn't see you before…"

"Oh shhhh." Maya interrupted, looking from Riley to Lucas, "You ready Huckleberry?"

"What to get hitched?" He replied, his smile growing, "Sure, if you want." And he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

"I don't marry sissy's though?" She said, referring to the faint water stain on Lucas sleeve.

"Oh shut up." He said taking hold of the white lace material, hugging her waist, in his hands, and pulling her in.

"I like the view here too." She said, as she winked and he laughed into her lips as he pulled her closer.

The two were left locked together as the rain started to fall around them.

"Oh classic." Riley moaned as the panic of Maya's dress, combined with the soon-to-be watery mud, started to form in her head.

Maya broke away from the kiss and looked up at Lucas.

She turned round to face the view and looked out just like Lucas and Riley had earlier.

She gripped his hand and pulled Riley in with an arm around her shoulder.

"This has been one hell ride." She said, her hair and dress now soaked to the core, all three of them standing out in the pouring rain still. "Cliche love story though, isn't it. The cancer survivor, the guy and their third wheeling bestfriend."

THE END.


End file.
